Disclaimer: this post will be over LGBTQ topics and I know not everyone feels in such a way as our group does. You are more than welcome to have your opinion. I’m just trying to save you a headache.
This month was a very special month for not only myself but my community. The month of June is known around the world as Pride month. Pride month being a month to show off the pride you have for yourself and your life style or someone you know, someone you love. June is the month where it’s okay to wear rainbow everyday.
I have been open and out with my sexuality since I was fifteen years old, and honestly if I wasn’t forced out by my family (LONG STORY) I probably wouldn’t be so open and proud of the way I am now.
But this post isn’t about me !!
This post is dedicated to one of my older brothers, who in the past week has brought to the world his true self. My brother has faced many challenges in his life, and this chapter is going to be one of the hardest for him. But i am going to be right here with him through it all.
My brother is a 28 year old divorced, single father who works for a very Christian organization. As well as coming from a family of southern baptists. Yikes.
He has always been a little more cheerful, a little bit louder, and a little bit stranger than any other sibling. (I have 7) we were always the closest out of everyone and there was always this bond I couldn’t explain. We understood each other without even speaking a word. I’m four years younger than him so after he graduated high school we kinda drifted apart.
But about a year ago he called me and said “I’m moving to San Francisco” and that’s when I knew. That’s when I knew his life was forever going to change, that his life would never be easy again. That’s when I knew I had to be my brothers voice.
He had many people tell him he was wrong for what he did. Leaving his daughter in Texas while he ran off. But I believe it was all necessary for him to be the best father he could be for her.
After a month of being in California he called me on the phone and came out to me. I thought I would die with this knowledge he had given me, I felt proud he was able to have faith in me to keep it.
As of a few weeks ago he publicly came out to all. His friends, co workers, family and even daughter. I’ve never known a happier version of my brother, he is going to do great this for his community.
He went and participated in his first pride festival this year and took me along for the ride.
But the defining moment through all of this for me, the moment I realized our actions to certain events even when we think others aren’t looking or they will never affect anyone else. The moment he looked at me with the biggest smile and said “If you had never allowed yourself to be placed in the gauntlet of our family, I wouldn’t be here right now”
Featured Image from LUI
thedihedral.com 
I can’t begin to imagine how hard this must have been for your brother, but kudos to him for taking the honest path and being true to himself. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t be there for the ones you love. I’ve met others who have been where he is now, and things seem to work out okay with the kids – they tend to be the most understanding. (I wish my parents had admitted to being unhappy together long before they finally did so.)
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That’s so sweet. Aw! I’m just moved by this, and good for your brother for coming out.
I have a neighbor that is with his partner and their sweetest dog.
I bet it was a bit scary coming out. I just hope in the future people won’t have to be scared.
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Bravo for both of you!
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My daughter was talking about the day (then she/now they) came out to their mom, then said to me, “I never really came out to you, did I? You just knew.”
I’m glad your brother was able to come out to you and, eventually, the whole family. If his first Pride Fest was in the Castro, that was quite an introduction!
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Great post
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Honesty to oneself – that is essential to one’s happiness. You helped your brother to reach that point – happy for you both. : )
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To me it always kind of amazes me that people walk around these self-identifying tags on them. You are you it doesn’t matter what you are. But it always kind of makes me stop and think when somebody says I’m a gay man. It doesn’t make a difference just like saying I like bran muffins or oatmeal. Is just two yards part of it but when people blink their own identity is a person to a tag it always makes me scratch my head a little.
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This is such an inspiring story, and I’m proud of your brother coming out 🙂
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This is a beautiful story. It always brightens up my days when I hear stories of people finding their true selves. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
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My question is not necessarily about coming out, but more about representation of LGBTQ+ folks in the outdoors community. I feel like I’ve seen more essays and heard more pieces on radio (NPR specifically) about underrepresented communities. While there is certainly some truth to this, I wonder if some of that might be chalked up to looking around and not being able to identify someone as part of that community? I live in southeastern Massachusetts, only a little over an hour from Provincetown, and somewhat south of Boston. So the areas I hike and climb see all kinds of people. I may not have an accurate picture of some of this. Sorry, if my question seems unclear. I guess what I’m asking is how you, as a member of both the outdoors and LGBTQ+ community, feel about the shape that conversation is taking, and whether the wider conversation is accurate.
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happy pride!🌈
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That’s fantastic. People should have the freedom to be who they are without fear or judgement. It seems that your brother can finally be the person he wants to be. Great stuff x
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Life is far too short to live in fear and misery. The truth is, we simply don’t have enough time to tuck our tails between our legs and be ashamed of who we are. The days are fleeting and we must capture and seize them, because to do otherwise would be a waste.
Two of my childhood friends passed away before they reached the age of 20 and I often wonder who they would be if they were still around. Due to this, I try to never base my own decisions on what some might fail to understand. If others might find the way I handle something in my life to be out of line with normalities, I would advise them that tomorrow’s sunrise is never promised.
Be who you are and do what you love, because the time is never more perfect than right now. The ride could be over before you enjoy it and all the outside opinions for why you didn’t choose to be yourself could not be heard, so light the fire and take action now.
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First of all, I like your disclaimer, like A LOT. I think I’ll use it myself, because here in Italy there are a lot of so-called “headache” about this kind of issues….
About you and your brother, one of many as I understand, I think that sometimes we underestimate the power of the example, and how much we can influence other’s people lives only by living ours with no fear to be ourselves. Only because we are not leader of a movement or a party, we can make the difference, maybe small but nonetheless, for us and for the people we care about
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I have a little blog post about getting out of the closet. My closet wasn’t about being gay, though.
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this is so fantastic! i was always for LGBTQ people and always will be- i thimk everybody should be the happiest that they can in life
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Great post! Everyone should live their true selves, no matter how challenging it appears at first. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was our resolve.
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Wonderful story! First, I loved the disclaimer. lol! Second, I would love to hear how you were forced out of the closet! But I’m very happy for your brother. I came out years ago, but it’s still a journey for me. Even though I have friends and family members that support me, and I live in a gay-friendly city, I still struggle with my sexuality sometimes. Still, I always push to be my truest self, and I’m glad your brother finally made the decision to do the same. Kudos to him! 🙂
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This is such a lovely story! Congratulations to your brother and you should be proud that he had enough trust in you to come out to you first. That’s a very good reflection on yourself. I just wrote my first blog post on my experience with Pride this year. I love reading other people’s experiences. It would be great if you could take a look at mine.
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