Cognac are all those old people at the gym. It’s a sipping drink, so they are slow, but steady. Getting it done, but at their own pace. Really, they’ll probably outlive your fast ass.
Jell-O shots are the gym rats that just want to be seen. Fake and cute. Their workouts are for TikTok only.
You can cut Vodka with all mixers, so of course Vodka is that gym-ster who does everything and anything at the gym. There’s nary a place you can look that you won’t see that dude. Spin class, the pool, on any machine you currently want to be on…that’s where Vodka will be.
Tequila is unnecessarily aggressive. Always throwing those weights down and screaming. You don’t need to go that hard, Tequila. Calm down.
Hard Seltzer comes to the gym but doesn’t really do anything. You’ll often see Hard Seltzer taking up a machine while sitting on their phone. They will, however, still feel like they accomplished something. Despite its name, Hard Seltzer is a weak bitch.
Which one are you?