By thedihedral Posted on

So you wanna ________?

So, you wanna go to Hell?  Not that Hell.  I don’t have much to say about that Hell, but I can talk a little about the (in)famous Horseshoe Hell.

The name sounds like someone tried to attach a stiletto to a horseshoe, but it’s actually a climbing event in Jasper, Arkansas, not a hellish high heel made for horses.

Horseshoe Canyon Ranch is a fully functional dude ranch situated in the middle of a horseshoe shaped canyon (hence, Horseshoe Canyon Ranch).  The canyon walls are made of bullet hard sandstone which is simply perfect for rock climbing.

With over 900 established climbing routes and several acres of camping space, the founders of Horseshoe Hell pegged Horseshoe Canyon Ranch as the perfect spot for their convoluted idea of hosting a 24 hour long climbing competition.  Although, this is technically labeled “an event”, it’s a competition.  It’s a not a competition with other climbers, it’s a competition with fatigue, and drowsiness, exhaustion, doubt, luck, time, ultimately, it’s a competition with yourself.

It’s not easy to get into Hell, and for the most part, once you get done, you never really want to go back. 

To get there for the first time, you have to be selected from a list of applicants who are put into a lottery.  I have been applying for 5 or 6 years, and every time that I’ve gotten rejected, I breathe a sigh of relief.  I’m usually in bed by 9PM, how am I expected to just skip sleep, let alone climb the entire time.  For some reason I keep applying, and this year my “luck” has changed.

The Subject of the email read: “Welcome to Hell”. 

Oh shit!

I’m not the first in theDIHEDRAL to be selected to Hell.  Our very own High-Clip went to Hell a few years ago, and I went to cheer her on, she climbed beautifully.  Our friend Aubrey climbed there for several years and actually holds the record for most trad climbs in a single night.  These ladies are fierce killers. 

Meanwhile I am patting myself on the back for staying up until 9:30PM on the weekends.

How am I actually going to pull this off?

The good news is that I’ll be climbing with a magnificent partner.  None other than theDIHEDRAL’s very own producer extraordinaire Gaia.  Who you might remember was an ultra-marathon runner.  If anyone has the cheat code to get us through mental, emotional, and physical fatigue it’s her. 

Does it matter that she hasn’t climbed regularly in 6 years?  Probably!  Does it matter that I haven’t stayed up past midnight in 6 years?  Probably yes again. 

We have some shortcomings! 

Does that matter?  Yep, yes, it absolutely matters. 

It matters, but we are not going to let those shortcomings stop us.  Come September, we are going to Hell.  We are going to climb some rocks.  We are going to do our best. 

So, if you wanna go to Hell, this is your chance.  Come along with us as we try to share all the highs and lows.  We need all the support we can get!  So, any well wishes, anecdotes, and advice that you could possibly muster will be more than welcome as we begin our voyage to Hell…and (hopefully) back!

Carrot

16 Replies to “So you wanna ________?”

  1. Terry's avatar
    Terry says: Reply

    I’ve been to “Hell”, only the location of that one was on Grand Cayman Island. Wishing you fun and safety on your climb!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. halffastcyclingclub's avatar
    halffastcyclingclub says: Reply

    I was hoping for Hell, MI. Be prepared to remind yourself that you’re doing this for fun. Having just returned from riding my bike over more Pyrenees mountain passes than I care to count, I had to do that at the top of the Col du Tourmalet when it was 34º and foggy or maybe misting; I wasn’t sure. I just know it wasn’t snow. And staying awake for 24 hours to climb is probably more fun than 24 hours of travel by planes and buses.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thedihedral's avatar
      thedihedral says: Reply

      I think I’m going to write that reminder on my arm with a sharpie. Reminder: This is FUN! Thanks you! Your trip sounds amazing, and…some combo of amazing and horrible! That’s a good combination for sure! I think.

      It’s funny that you mention that Hell, MI. I am in a cabin less than 40 miles from Hell typing this as we speak.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. sunyamar's avatar
    sunyamar says: Reply

    I also have been to Hell, Michigan, Livingston County. Think I’ll stick with that. Congrats to all the Dihedral staff for doing this challenge. I hope you keep us in the loop on this journey.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Fred's avatar
        Fred (Au Natural) says:

        Naked Hiking Day was Thursday. I wandered naked up and down the PCT near Liebre Mountain and Sawmill Mountain. The thru-hikers have all gotten beyond this section and I had the place all to myself.

        Liked by 1 person

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