NORWAY: What they won’t tell you!

Norway is known for many things, including the seemingly unending expanse of rock.  This place is a rock climbers dream come true (minus the immense levels of rainfall each year).  Come to think of it, climbing in Norway is sort of like Season 1 Episode 8 of The Twilight Zone titled “Time Enough at Last” in which Henry Bemis’ glasses fall off and shatter when he bends down to pick up a book.  Similarly, in Norway, the rock is right there, but it’s tough to get on.  Luckily, Norway has great climbing gyms that are packed with world class setters and an expectation of greatness.  Norway is also known for some of the most beautiful avenues into nature that one could imagine.  Whether by foot, boat, bus, or train, Norway offers a path into the great outdoors, suitable to all adventurers of all skill levels.

Norway is beautiful, that’s no secret.  Norway is also well-known for oil, money, education, happiness, sheep, reindeer, Black Metal, Vikings, wood, fish, and democratic socialism.

There are a few things that make sense when you think about Norway, but they aren’t explicitly stated in travel guides, tourist centers, and general conversations.  It’s not that there’s a coverup or that there are big controversial Norwegian secrets, it’s just that some things about Norway are not made explicit, and I’m here to tell you what they are!

Norwegians are thoughtful, kind, and patient in ways that make the world seem like a better place.  Not only do Norwegians embrace these particular virtues, but they do it in ways that aren’t annoying.  No one likes a person who goes out of their way to be “kind” only for the approval they receive in return.  In a like manner, no one glorifies the patience of a vengeful agent or the thoughtfulness of a stalker.  There is a positive way to exhibit virtues and negative way, but there is also the Nor-way.

The Nor-way of virtues is on display whenever working together benefits the majority at the cost of sacrifice to the self.  It’s kind of what you might expect from a country that embraces promoting the social good.  At the same time the Nor-way seems almost antithetical to human nature for those of us who grew up under corporate capitalism. 

The difference in approach between the USA and Norway for instance, is on full display when it comes to communal spaces aimed at personal ends.  There are several examples where this overlap comes into play.  A hike through nature, a public beach, or even a climbing crag can all serve as communal spaces that people use primarily to server their own ends.  When hiking to a waterfall, most hikers are there for their own reasons, they have their own goals, and usually hope to achieve an end that serves them directly.  Whether it’s for the exercise, the meditation, or the view, the ends are personal.  When the communal space is abundant the Nor-way is not realizable.  For example, if you are one of only a few hikers on a 5K trail, there is abundant space.  You may not ever see any other hiker.  If you are one of only a few people on a public beach or one of only a few people at a crag, it is very easy to share the abundance of space.

It’s only when space is limited that the typical behavior of diverse populations comes into play.  Two situations that truly display the Nor-way and the more capitalist way of the west (Cap-way) are on the roads, and at the airport.

I’ve spent my entire life driving in and around two major U.S. cities, specifically Houston and Detroit.  Driving in Detroit is an experience that can only be described as fast and aggressive.  There are simple unwritten rules that when followed produce a highly functional albeit stressful environment.  Most notably, fast drivers stick to the left lane, the right lane is for slow drivers and people exiting the expressway, and the middle lane is kind of a mixed bag.  When a light turns green, you accelerate quickly, at a yellow light you accelerate quickly, at a red light you wait impatiently for green in order to accelerate quickly.  Detroit is the Motor City; it was built by and for cars.  Pedestrians have rights, but unlike other major cities, crosswalks are an afterthought.  Walkers look out for cars, not the other way around.

Houston on the other hand is a jumbled mess of the worst drivers I have ever experienced in my life.  The major issue with Houston driving is that there are so many transplants to the Houston area, that there is no one set of rules.  Drivers in Houston just follow their own local rules and then chaos ensues.  Houston consistently ranks in the top 5 US cities with the worst drivers.  Texas is ranked #1 when it come to the worst drivers in the country.  A few highlights of Houston driving include the notion that when someone turns on their blinker it’s taken as a sign to speed up and avoid letting them in.  When someone is driving slowly in the left lane (a frustratingly common situation) and a fellow traveler is forced to pass them on the right, this attempt to pass the slower driver is viewed antagonistically and compels the slow driver to speed up and refuse to let the would-be passer move ahead.  Classy!  It’s the Cap-way!

Collecting luggage in the USA is actually very similar to driving.  It’s a dog-eat-dog world of elbows and assholes crammed around a conveyor belt.  People vying for prime real estate in order to grab their luggage and hit the road.  It’s a functioning system of me first and gimmie gimmie!

Norway on the other hand is different.  It’s the same situation, people have share communal spaces with selfish ends, but the Norwegian approach is distinctive.  In Norway, when you turn on a blinker people slow down to let you in.  The majority of the people drive the speed limit.  If someone is in a rush and wants to drive faster, Norwegians will literally pull over to the side of the road to let them pass.  As far as pedestrians go, if there is someone approaching a crosswalk, a Norwegian driver will slam on the breaks to let that person cross safely.  Assimilating to the Nor-way of driving is seamless.  Once a foreigner realizes the benefits of working together with other drivers while on the road, the advantages are clear.  The stress of trying to change lanes is eliminated, the stress of driving behind a slow driver evaporates.  There is a calm that comes with driving at the same speed as your fellow drivers.  Further, there are very few stops, as most intersections are roundabouts.  Meaning, the stress of waiting is jettisoned.  The driving vibe is chill, because the drivers in Norway practice the Nor-way!  Individually everyone might drive a little bit slower, take a little more time, and let a few more cars pass by, but this approach is a rising tide that lifts all boats.  Safety, enjoyment, and relaxation equate to happier healthier benefits to both the individual and the collective.

Now, baggage claim in Norway works the exact same way.  Anyone travelling with luggage in a major US airport, knows well the hectic scene at baggage claim¹.  By comparison, far fewer people know the scene at the major Norwegian airports.  Instead of crowding the belt, folks just kind of chill.  People sit patiently waiting for the bags to start coming out.  Travelers sit and chat on benches while they wait.  Snacks and coffee are abundant.  Many enjoy a game of Hnefatafl while sipping on espresso and eating pannekaker (a traditional Norwegian pancake).  Once the alarm goes off, no one crowds the belt, they continue enjoying life.  Once a traveler sees their bag, they walk up and grab it.  No crowd to fight through, no elbows and assholes, just an open belt with easy access to the luggage.  Now of course one might receive their luggage a moment or two earlier by fighting their way to the front, but as they say in Norway²: å være midt i smørøyet (to be in the middle of the butter eye)!

Norway is a beautiful country, that goes without saying, but let it be known, Norwegians are also beautiful people!  Now you know!!!

1. My sisters are as sweet as they come, and my oldest sister would fit into the Norwegian way of life perfectly.  Her life is an open example of the Nor-way.  However, when I brought up my objection to crowding the belt, she couldn’t get behind it.  Again, she is the human incarnation of sugar and spice and everything nice, but when it comes to luggage, she said something along the lines of “I will stab a person in the leg if they try to cut in front of me at the baggage claim!”  (She didn’t actually say that or anything like that, but I feel like it was implied when she said that she liked to be up front when the bags come out.)
2. det var helt Texas is an actual Norwegian expression that means “it was totally Texas”.  It’s used to describe bad traffic.  That expression couldn’t be more on the nose!