So, you wanna __________?

So, you wanna escape the political landscape for the next 4 years.  You wanna escape the shit show of watching a full-on clown try to run the most powerful institution the world has ever known?  A lot of people have said that they would move to another country rather than endure another 4 years of person x.  I use “x” as a place holder here because I’ve heard folks from both parties say that they’d rather leave than suffer 4 years under a president from the other side of the isle.  Personally, I would never advise moving to another country as a way to get through a political term.  I’d advise educating yourself and others about ways that can truly affect change and then try to implement that education to make things better.  You win some, you lose some, but giving up the right to vote in a place that you consider home seems drastic.

I’m all for drastic, but perhaps there are a some less drastic measures.  Dirtbags may have the right idea.  They can disappear for months or years at a time without ever leaving the country.  Getting lost at J-Tree for a few months, Moab for a few more, going down to The Red, and up to The Gunks, before heading to Yosemite Valley, and back to Joe’s, popping up occasionally, to say hello, and vote in a local election.  Dirtbags may be on to something?  

Living in a van, off the grid for four years isn’t for everybody, but perhaps there is something in between #vanlife and constantly watching the world burn?  Of course there are lots of distractions out there, for most of us they are just called life, but for those with a little extra cheddar, there is a very unique opportunity!

Villa Vie¹!

Villa Vie Odyssey is a cruise ship that offers an intimate, new cruise lifestyle, and the ability to reach parts of the world that larger ships cannot access – often docking in the heart of destinations.

This lifestyle cruise ship offers multiyear options that while not blatantly advertised as a complete political departure, there are very loud undertones.  Travelers on the Villa Vie Odyssey can choose 1 of 4 duration cycles (according to the website).

• 1-Year Escape from Reality ($49,999)
• 2-Year Mid-Term Selection ($93,999)
• 3-Year Everywhere but Home ($129, 999)
• 4-Year Skip Forward ($159,999)

While it may sound pricey at first, this is actually a pretty good deal.  The prices are all inclusive meaning food and lodging are included, as well as access to all cruise amenities and events.  There is a full gym, with a personal trainer, they offer yoga and Pilates classes.  Two pools and pickle ball on deck, a library, a conference and business center, a bar with nightly entertainment, as well as a spa and beauty salon.  The cruise goes to all seven continents hitting 425 destinations along the way including stops at 147 countries and over 100 islands.  There is an on-board hospital and pharmacy, as well as full-service housekeeping that will visit your room twice a week.  On top of all that, friends and family are welcome to visit for just $129/night (cheaper than most hotels).  All this without the overcrowded bacteria-fest that comes with some of the adventures on the larger public cruise lines.

Leaving aside the expense of travel to the various destinations along the way, let’s break this down.

Say we decide on the 4-Year Skip for $159,999, that amounts to about $40K/Year.  A 1-bedroom apartment will rent for about $1500/month (depending on where you live).  That is $18K/year.  Groceries come in around $500, internet around $100, electricity and gas about $150, water is about $50, gym membership $50, auto insurance and gas would easily be another $200, and let’s toss in about $150 a month for enjoying life a little (movies, dinners, drinks, etc…).  All that adds up to another $1200/month or about $14.5K/year.  This list ignores things like car payments, renters/home insurance, as well as possible home improvements, and home services such as lawn care or house cleaners.  Ignoring these extras and we’re looking at about $32,500.  

Meaning for about $7,500/year you can sail around the world!  That’s not even the cost of one cruise to Japan, let alone 146 other countries!

Obviously, this isn’t for everyone².  I for one need to work, but if you happen to have a remote job, or a substantial retirement, or a generous trust fund, then this is an option that you should absolutely think about.  

No political noise is one thing, add in no cooking, cleaning, or yard-work for 4 years and it sounds pretty amazing, toss in 147 countries and adventures in some of the most beautiful places around the world, it’s at least worth considering!  

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1. Here is a link.
2. I am not a cruise ship guy.  Even a week on a ship would have me going stir crazy, but all that climbing abroad, the dark skies at night, the endless beaches, and the daily servings of gourmet food would surely make even the worst cases of cabin fever seem like nothing more than a passing agitation!
3. Villa Vie, if you’re looking an honest review from dirtbag philosopher, I’m happy to spend a week on the ship and report back.  Just send me a message.  And if anyone on the Villa Vie wants me to look after their apartment for a few days while off on an excursion, again, just say the word!