Nebraska might be the last place you think about when it comes to rock climbing. As well it should be since it only has 13 total routes in the entire state. 9 of them can be found at Goon Stretch just outside of Omaha. So, if you’re in Omaha and you have an hour to spare, grab a crash pad, some shoes and head west toward the Elkhorn River. The most challenging route at the Goon is Divine Intervention, a V4 highball with an R rating. This is a nice-looking line with a spectacular name as a statue of Mary Magdalene sits right at the end of the route. The other 8 routes are all rated between V1 and V2, with the next highest rated route a 2.5-Star route aptly named Magdalene. Magdalene was named after the previous location of the statue. While the climbing in Nebraska may not be worldclass, their ability to name routes is topnotch!
As there isn’t much to report on the world of outdoor climbing in Nebraska, I thought it would be fun to get to know a little about the great city of Omaha. If you’ve never been to Omaha, you’re missing out. It’s a great city with some amazing opportunities for fun (in addition to the 9 routes at Good Stretch).
Starting with Ted and Wally’s Ice Cream where you can find flavors that fill the bill for all things Cornhusker, as they offer unique flavors such as Sweet Corn, Honey Cornbread, and Caramel Popcorn. From there you gotta hit up the Omaha Zoo, which is literally one of the best zoos in the world. The Henry Doorly Zoo has both the largest indoor desert and the largest indoor rainforest. Plus, it isn’t yout typical zoo that simply keeps animals captive for human voyeurs, it’s a conservation, research, and medical space aimed at protection and scientific advancement of animals. While ice cream and zoos are cool, Omaha really stands out for having the cajónes to display a 6’ statue of the one and only Chef Hector Boiardi, better known to dirtbags everywhere as Chef Boyardee. The master chef behind the culinary work of art known as Spaghetti-Os deserves this recognition, and Omaha delivers! One final note on the history of Omaha is that it is the home of the Reuben Sandwich. The Reuben appeared on the Blackstone Hotel menu in 1925 for 40 cents. Big money in 1925. Credit for the sandwich goes to Charles Shimmel and Reuben Kulakfsky. They may not be on the level of Chef Boiardi, but they certainly made their mark!
Lots of snackies to choose from in the gastronomic town of Omaha, but I’m not sure you could find something much more enticing than Kitchen Table!
Kitchen Table SLOW FOOD MADE FAST WITH THE BEST LOCAL INGREDIENTS POSSIBLE! “Your home away from home – a place to enjoy carefully crafted food in a relaxed environment. For local, seasonal, from-scratch, made-with-love goods in downtown Omaha!”
Kitchen Table may be the best restaurant we have ever featured on Cragies and Snackies. I’m not sure I could ever actually live in Omaha, because I would absolutely spend every dime I earned eating at Kitchen Table. Maybe I would have to pick up a part time job there just to get discounted food.
Before getting into the menu, it’s worth noting that Kitchen Table has a Shopette, where they sell homemade breads, drinks, treats, and pizzas, boxed breakfast and lunches, as well as local foods such a crackers, cheeses, and meats. All of it looks amazing, especially the take and bake pizza!
Many of the options featured at the shopette can also be found on the menu. Kitchen Table is open from 9AM-3PM so they focus primarily on breakfast and lunch menus. There are absolutely spectacular breakfast offerings such as the Sorfrito Quinoa Bowl, the Brioche French Toast Sticks, and the Overnight Quinoa, oh and the handmade Buttermilk Biscuits, and the Cake for Breakfast, and the Spiced Squash Bread. While I would devour any of these offerings, I am loyal to the lunch spread!
They have a Wagyu Beef Hot Dog Sandwich, the best looking PB&J I have ever seen, a whole assortment of salads, sides, soups, and sandwiches, literally enough to please anyone and keep them coming back for more. To choose just one item would be impossible, so it is best to bring the whole climbing crew and share as many options as you can afford. If forced to select a luch for myself, my order would look something like this: Tofu Reuben (a salute to the history of Omaha) Pimento Cheese and Pickles for the side, and a cup of house Tomato Soup. I’m washing it add down with a 16oz in house pour of Kombucha and adding a Gougeres (flacky cheese Pastry) for the road! I’d also grab myself an extra Kombucha for the road.
On the way out of Omaha, take one more spin by Chef Boyardee and toast a pineapple road Bucha as it’s time to head for higher ground!
Goon Stretch and Kitchen Table, good climbing and great food!
Location: Omaha, Nebraska. “Equality before the law”
Crag: Good Stretch
Restaurant: Kitchen Table
Distance: 22 Miles
thedihedral.com 
Almost sounds worth stopping on the way through to Colorado. Some local (to me) musicians had a hit in the 80s with “(I Hate to Wake up) Sober in Nebraska”, about the long drive through there to get to Colorado.
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Haha…I love that. Driving through Nebraska recently just dropped their state slogan “Honestly, it’s not for everyone”. Which is too bad, because while it’s not an ideal tourism pitch, at least it’s honest!
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