By thedihedral Posted on

NBA in Vegas!

Many moons ago (September 28, 2022 to be exact) I wrote a piece about creating climbing teams for some of the premier climbing spots in the US.  

The teams included the following:

  1. Rumbling Bald Eagles
  2. Chattanooga Choo Choos
  3. Hueco Tanks
  4. Kentucky Flash
  5. NYC Dyno
  6. Boulder Brewers
  7. Vegas Red
  8. Bend Loggers
  9. Bishop Mules
  10. Flagstaff Gazers
  11. California Stone Masters
  12. Moab Monsters

Not a bad list of names if I do say so myself, and I indeed do say so.  My favorite team name is the Boulder Brewers.  That one is a homerun, or in climbing terms a redpoint flash!  I bring these team names up here not solely for nostalgic reasons, but as evidence that I have expert level experience in naming would be teams.

Recently, the NBA has agreed to pursue the possibility of adding two new basketball teams into the league via the first expansion since the addition of the Charlotte Bobcats in the 2004-2005 season.  The two cities being looked at are Seattle and Las Vegas.

Seattle is a great sports town deserving of a new NBA franchise.  Although in Seattle’s case, it wouldn’t be a totally new NBA franchise.  Seattle housed a team from 1967 unti July 2, 2008, when the Seattle Supersonics relocated to Oklahoma City and were aptly renamed the Thunder.  Upon that move, the city of Seattle retained the moniker “Supersonics” and reserved it in the hopes that Seattle basketball would once again return to The Emerald City.  Well, it looks like that time has come and the Supersonics will once again display the yellow and green for the city of Seattle.

Las Vegas on the other hand has never housed an NBA franchise and so, they have no nickname on reserve, meaning that if/when Las Vegas officially acquires a new team, they will also need a new name.

Future owners (FYI Starting bid for a team in Las Vegas is $7-$10 billion dollars) fear not, Carrot (along with the readers of theDIHEDRAL) is here to offer you the top ten possible names for your future team in Sin City.

Las Vegas currently has four major professional sports teams.

  1. Las Vegas Raiders (NFL)
  2. Las Vegas Knights (NHL)
  3. Las Vegas Athletics (MLB)
  4. Las Vegas Aces (WNBA)

Clearly, there is no theme for Las Vegas sports franchises, so trying to fit into a motif is not an option.  Three of the four teams have no connection to Las Vegas history or culture, meaning that it’s not a prerequisite for a professional team name in the city of lights.  The Aces, however, is suited (pun intended) perfectly for a Vegas sports franchise.  Great name that capitalizes on the history AND culture of Las Vegas.  That being said, let’s do our best to capture the Vegas vibe, knowing that we are under no obligation to be historical or cultural in our recommendations.

A couple of unfeasible options before getting started; The Vegas Kings would be great, it would go along with the Aces, but there is already a team in Sacramento named the Kings.  Similarly, The Monarchs would be a tremendous name, but this was the name held by the former Sacramento WNBA team.  Personally, if I were shelling out $7 Billion for a team, I’d at least inquire about the possibility of gaining the rights to “The Monarchs”.  A nickname that represents the King, Queen, and Jack, is perhaps the closest thing to a perfect name there is.  The Vegas Heat, and The Vegas Sun would work well too, as they capture the blistering temps in Nevada, but those names are currently assumed by Miami and Phoenix respectively.

That being said, without further ado, here are my top 10 names for the forthcoming NBA franchise in Las Vegas, NV.

  1. Vegas Bonanza – Based on the hit TV show from 60’s and 70’s, Bonanza took place in Nevada and represented miners from the American West in the 1800’s.  The theme song is a banger, and the expression “Bonanza” could be well used to refer to a scoring frenzy.  A shortened iteration, the Vegas Bones exudes a bit of toughness.  I kind of like this idea.  7/10.
  2. Vegas Bighorns – The Desert Bighorn Sheep is the state mammal, and lord knows that animals make for great mascots.  Lions, Tigers, Bears, Falcons, Coyotes, Sharks, Pelicans, Hawks, Rams, Cubs, Diamondbacks, the list goes on and on.  I feel some love for the Bighorn because they are excellent climbers.  Further, they are very cute, and that could really appeal to a younger crowd.  Yes, there are a lot of animal names in pro sports, but Bighorns would instantly be among the best. 7/10
  3. Vegas Roadrunners – Everything I just said about animals but apply it to birds.  “The Roadrunners” is such a great name for a basketball team, I am shocked that it doesn’t already exist at the highest level.  8/10
  4. Vegas Monsters – Everything I just said about animals and birds, but with lizards.  The Gila Monster is intimidating, dangerous, and most importantly found in southern Nevada.  Could there be a more intimidating name in sports than The Monsters?  The answer is no! 7/10
  5. Las Vegas Legion – This is a throwback to one of the most iconic Vegas casinos on the strip, Caesar’s Palace.  It may be difficult to embrace some of the attributes of Sin City, but to ignore them altogether would be a shame.  A salute to Caesar’s army is subtle enough to avoid the righteous cries of the ultra-conservative, while obvious enough to serve as an homage to what actually made Las Vegas what it is today.  Also, alliteration is always in vogue.  Further, could you imagine how cool it would be to go full-on Caesar, and have Roman Numerals on the uniforms?  I like this one a lot!  9/10
  6. Las Vegas Aliens – We can’t completely ignore the fascination with Area-51.  The mascot would be completely unique, the color theme could have other worldly options, and ability to include stars and space into the arena and uniforms would be outstanding.  However, I don’t think pro-sports is ready to embrace the extraterrestrial option just yet!  4/10
  7. Las Vegas Bandits – University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) is known as the Runnin’ Rebels.  Bandits seem like a more organized and professional advancement of a rebel.  Also, I think a logo of a bandit would look pretty tight.  To top things off, the mascot could be a racoon, which I believe would be spectacular! 6/10
  8. Las Vegas Dust Devils – Yes, the NHL has the Jersey Devils, and Arizona State has the Sun Devils, but Dust Devils is unique enough that I think it could pass the trademark test.  Dust Devils are a Vegas weather event similar to a tornado, they pop up quickly and have the potential to do damage.  I’m not sure what the mascot would look like, but I would love to find out! 6/10
  9. Vegas Dice – Staying true to the gambling and casino culture of Nevada, I think Dice is a is a much better name than The Slots, The Roulette, The Pai Gow, The Big Wheel, The Poker, or The Blackjack.  Like using Roman Numerals on The Legion jerseys, I can imagine using dice to represent the jersey numbers of The Dice players.  Not my favorite name, but I think it’s the best among other gambling themed options. 8/10
  10. Las Vegas Rat Pack – Is there a better way to pay tribute to the history of Las Vegas?  Absolutely not!  The entire theme could be based on the entertainment era of the late 1940’s and 50’s.  Imagine the PA announcer bringing out the team to the crooner styles of Vegas legends like Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr.  The mascot could be a sharply dressed Rat in a fedora, suspenders, and perfectly manicured tie.  At first I wasn’t a huge fan of this idea, but it has grown on me and now I think it would be just about perfect! 9/10

I honestly couldn’t decide between the Legion and the Rat Pack.  I am hoping you will let me know your favorite of the 10 options listed above, whichever option gets the most votes between here and our socials, I will send to the NBA, Las Vegas City Council, Las Vegas’ Mayor, Nevada’s Governor and anyone else who may have a stake in this exciting opportunity!

Carrot

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