Let’s talk about this group post… It was my turn to come up with a theme for this week’s post and my mind was blank. I wanted to come up with something fun for us to work during the week and my writer’s block took me back to one of my Ceramics class. I recently found out that there is such a thing as the “Exquisite Corpse Drawing Game”, I played it with two classmates and I absolutely loved it. This game consists on folding a sheet of paper in three and having the same number of people secretly draw the head, torso, and legs. I have never heard of a written version of this game and thought on giving it a try, but then again.. I had never heard of the “Exquisite Corpse Drawing Game” either.
Let’s get it on !!!
(We set a general theme and followed it. We only had knowledge of our last sentences.)
Blowfish, Pookie and I are halfway into our approach, when Pookie asks if someone grabbed the shoes. I didn’t, Blowfish didn’t, and Pookie didn’t either, so our options are either make this a day for hiking, turn back, or climb with the extra pair that Blowfish keeps in her pack at all times, her “lucky” pair, the pair with the blown out toes. Luckily Pookie and Blowfish are the types that always make the most of any situation, and we came all this way to climb, so climbing in ill-fitting blowouts it is!
It’s been a long time since we all came out together, that’s how it is though when everyone is busy with LIFE, but we sure could have picked a better day to climb, because it is hot! The last time we climbed here in this type of heat was last summer, the only difference was on that trip we all had our own shoes, and Leis was with us. ‘Leis’ is short of Leisure Suit Larry, which is long for Brad, which is short for Bradley; we called him that because he looked exactly like Leisure Suit Larry. So, Leis wasn’t with us, and I was kind of happy about that, because all he would do is complain. Last summer when we were out here Leis was belaying me on a pretty gnarly climb, and I was stuck on the crux, and it was hot, probably hotter than today. I was just up there flailing around like a fish out of water, bad feet, bad hands, yet determined to figure it out. Every time I would chalk up, chalk would fall to the ground or on Leis, and every time a speck of chalk hit Leis, he would complain “you’re getting chalk in my eyes”. I mean I don’t know what to tell you Leis, wear goggles or something because I can’t really control where the chalk goes. The more he would complain that more frustrated I would become. And then it happened!!! I wish I felt bad about it, but it was Leis, and he kind of asked for it.
Looking back wearing basketball shorts and boxers may not have been the best choice, but it was hot and I was trying to stay comfortable. I’m up on the wall, flailing around, Leis is complaining about the heat, the chalk, the humidity, how long it’s taking me to finish. I’m up there baking, and sweating profusely, it was as if someone took a coin purse and dipped it in a toilette, I’m talking about sog-ball/boiled eggs/a perspiring scrotum, It’s an unavoidable consequence when you’re pushing yourself in the heat. I felt it form, one little droplet, and it started to move, down my thigh, to my knee, and then drip, like one little rain drop from a hairy cloud of horror. Usually you don’t even notice things like this, but when Leis said a drop of rain just hit his eye, I knew it was time to come down.
I’ve re-worked the wardrobe, and I was hoping to send that same route today, but with a pair of blowouts, who knows…anyway, that’s why now I only wear granny panties when I climb.
Seeing conrad’s granny panties surfacing with each step as we approach our climb could make anyone gag a bit. But hey everyone has their own lucky something, right?
The names Pookie and I assume it was only given to me by these two because I’m pocket sized or as it seems, everyone’s grandma loves me. I met these two oddballs at the local gym one morning and we have been a crew every since. Same crap different weekend really. We are headed out for a couple quickies on some real rock. No one really had anything planned and no one even knew how to get there. But nevertheless we persisted and found our way to the mountains. Sometimes I don’t even know how we keep our heads attached to our bodies.
As we crawled out of the van, each grabbing our essentials for the days deeds I can just tell today is going to be the day. Today is going to be the day that I out climb these fools…or so I hope.
Approaching the well gossiped about routes I grab for my climbing shoes and realize, they’re not there.
What the hell is a pookie to do without their pookie shoes??! These two are giants and my feet would swim in their shoes. But I have to, I have to find a way to make it work.
They may call me pookie because I’m small, but I tend to fill the shoes of giants all the time.
Between Pookie and Conrad the situation was already pretty messed up. Knowing how big of a Titan complex Little P has, made me hesitate about not allowing her to wear my pair of shoes. I did not want to hurt her feelings or, point out the obvious, her feet are very, very small. To avoid further conflict, I came up with a bright idea… I imposed a bright idea of mine. While Conrad went to take a piss, I snuck inside of his tent and took a pair of his dearly beloved, oh so attractive granny panties. Without anyone noticing, I snuck the “lingerie” inside of the pair of shoes and became the savior of our climbing trip. Little P was so happy, the shoes fit her like a glove and she was sending those routes like a spartan, and Conrad, well… He was missing a pair of underwear.
I did not have the courage to tell Conrad that it was me the one who had kidnapped his lucky underwear. Deep inside, I knew I had messed up. I was so excited that we finally had the opportunity to go on a climbing trip together that I wanted to make everyone happy. Of course, that did not happen, because he was fed up and I felt like shit. While Pookie free soloed every single wall, I found ways to free solo my way to C’s heart. If I give him the Shrek cat look, will he have mercy ? To be honest, I believe that it is not a big deal, he can lay his grannies flat to dry and all of Little P’s sweat will evaporate ! Too bad he has feet phobia… I am doomed, he will not belay me with commitment and I will die. After coming to terms with my demons, I finally approached an already unapproachable person. He gave me the “I know what you did last summer look” and I couldn’t handle it. It was me Conrad ! I am responsible for the loss of your favorite underwear and I am so so sorry ! *Shrek cat stare*.
I guess having to spend the rest of the trip with some granny panties on my head is a fair punishment for my reckless behavior. I am glad I don’t mind sweat, feet, and I have a big head… By the way Conrad, I wore your underwear last summer. Blowfish out !