A few months ago, I joined enemy forces and became a route setter. As much as I love route setting, I continue to work as a double agent. Per always, I bash all setters’ routes (“this is GARBAGE,” “why is this so tall,” “who thought this was a good idea,” “someone fell asleep on the job,” etc.), but I have to admit that now I do understand the route setter struggle. One might say I gained sympathy for the route setter…
Here is my adaptation of “Sympathy for the Devil” by The Rolling Stones (also thanks AZ Lyrics):
Sympathy for the Route Setter
Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of chalk and dirt
I’ve been around for a long, long summer
Stole many a man’s send and flash
And I was ’round when the slab
Had its moment of sketch and fear
Made damn sure that foot jibs
Stayed real small and far away
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around the local gym
When I saw it was a time for a change
Took the drill and every size bolt
The team kids cried in despair
I set the moves
Hold the technical grooves
When the holds run scarce
And no one approves
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your shoes and chalk
Fought for ten minutes
For the wrong beta
I shouted out,
“Who wanted the slopers?”
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of chalk and dirt
And I laid traps for boulderers
Who get pumped before they reached the crux
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, whipper
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every setter is a climber
And all the pinches crimps
As screws are bolts
Just call me High-Setter
Cause I’m in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned heels and flags
Or I’ll lay your beta to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me crimper, what’s my name
Tell me whipper, can ya guess my name
Tell me crimper, what’s my name
I tell you one time, you’re to blame
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
thedihedral.com 
Excellent parody. Now, let’s hear you sing it.
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Haha, I don’t think I can match the Stones! Thanks!
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I’ve been a route setter for many years now. It’s so much fun to do, and even better when other climbers like your climb. It’s horrible when you spend a few hours creating something that sucks, but it happens still sometimes. You know what? I still often complain about routes other climbers set. Not proud about it 😀
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That’s awesome! Yes, I totally agree. I don’t think it’s something that can be perfected, and it’s okay to have trashy routes sometimes…or else how would we appreciate the good ones?
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Sometimes it even happens that I think it didn’t turn out so well and then others, to my big surprise, like it .
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I feel that! I’m not quite sure why that happens, but some of the time I think it’s because I went outside of my comfort zone with a sequence and though I didn’t quite feel good with it everyone else did. What do you think?
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I think that we sometimes set something that is not really our style of climbing, hence we dislike it. But others might really enjoy that style.
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Ah, that’s probably it!
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This is hilarious! I’ve done this for a couple of poems and got up in the main street of town and said them to the passing mobs (five people). You should definitely sing it and upload it to YouTube! I wrote a ridiculous rap song and uploaded it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wcATlXY2pc Be warned: I can’t sing 🙂
Keep up the good work!
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Haha, thank you so much! Man, what a hoot. Way to go! ✋
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Very true! Thank you for sharing!
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