Advice and Trash

In honor of theDIHEDRAL’s amazing efforts with the Plastic Cap Challenge, and just the fact that they show such initiative on keeping the Earth a nice place for everyone, I thought I’d write a little blog on keeping nature as pristine as possible. But theeeen I also thought about how this  article will come out just after Valentine’s Day and I’m single af. What a topic. So, here is my attempt on combining two subjects that I hold near and dear to my heart.

Advice and Trash

See how both of those words can fit with the environment AND dating? You see it? You see it.

Tip #1 Take care of it right away

I get it. When you’re climbing or doing anything outside (hiking, swimming, what have you), you’re going to get the munchies. And, of course, get that protein in you and fuel your second wind, man. I’m here for it. Just bring some sort of trash receptacle and toss any remnants away immediately. That’s it and it takes almost no more effort than that to keep the crag (or wherever) clean. Don’t tuck it under a rock to “throw away later.” You will forget. 

A+ for those that bring two separate bags for regular trash and things that can be recycled (not everything can be recycled!).

ECO1

Now with dating, it’s also important to take care of trash right away. Delete that number. Don’t save it for later. You will go back to it. 

Not all people can be recycled!

ECO2

Tip #2 Bring food in non-disposable containers

What’s even better than bringing a granola bar and having to deal with that pesky trash is bringing a PB & J and putting it in a non-disposable container! This is less likely to be forgotten and you can toss it back in your sack right away. Reusable water bottles also obviously produce less trash but save you money in the long run (and you avoid that weird taste plastic water bottles get after they’ve been sitting in the sun).

A+ if you cut up lemons or some mess and put it in your reusable water bottle. This adds nothing for the environment but oh my God are you a healthy bitch or what?

ECO3

Unfortunately, you cannot hold that guy Chad in a non-disposable container. He will escape and maybe dm other girls there’s really no way of knowing without hurting your zen in the process. Fortunately, lemon water also heals this.

ECO4

Tip #3 Don’t pick up dog poop in a bag and leave the bag

Like, I don’t understand. We saw this more than once at Reimer’s. Why…? What are you…? Why? If you can’t throw your dog poop out then just leave the poop alone in the woods that is more natural then your poop bag, thank you.

ECO5

You can and should also just leave that person in the woods that reads your texts but doesn’t respond for a day and a half cause they really don’t like you that much so find someone who does, boo (there will be plenty, even if you don’t think so). 

ECO6

Tip #4 If possible, carpool

This is not always doable but before you go to your climbing spot it’s great to organize a carpool. Save gas, save money, save a little wear and tear on the environment, and you can force everyone to listen to musicals they have no interest in. 

ECO7

Conversely, you should not carpool with alllll your exes/crushes/what have you. That is awkward.

ECO8

With the environment and with love, it only takes minimal effort to not be a trash person. I know, I know, I am so wise.

Thank me later.

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Jen Alger Contributor theDIHEDRAL

7 Replies to “Advice and Trash”

  1. Your eco-trash tips were great (and that’s coming from a pretty rabid eco-girl) but your advice on the human trash cracked me up. I found myself looking for the next one in anticipation. Great post and nice (and humorous) combination of two totally unrelated subjects! 😂😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Darn it, I’m NOT supposed to hold exes in non-disposable containers? Maybe that’s why the fridge is so full. Thanks for the tips ;D

    Liked by 2 people

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