5.10 Commandments

So, like…what are 5.10 commandments?  Is that like 5 and 1/10th of a commandment? 

Good questions you hypothetical people existing via Carrot’s inner dialogue, and I am glad we asked.

Most everyone surely knows of The Ten Commandments.  They were introduced by an old school rock climber and mountaineer named Moses.  Moses Climbed up Mount Sinai unaided (Not sure if he got the First Ascent), and dirt-bagged it for forty nights.  On the approach…going away from the crag Moses presented his crew with the OG Ten Commandments.

Now let me make something very clear, I am not comparing myself to Moses.  Although, I did get a few FA’s, I have a beard, I’m a bit of a dirtbag, and I have been isolated for a good deal of time.  However, the Divine interaction, the miracles, the leadership, the organization skills; regarding those qualities my staff, oops I mean snake, nope it’s a staff1, couldn’t measure up to Moses’.  In short Moses has made an impact that has lasted over ten thousand years, and I’ll be happy if someone remembers this article ten minutes from now.  Moses was once played by Charlton Heston, No one is playing Carrot.  I did however go to school with a kid named Carl Weston (Totally beside the point, I know).

So, now that we’ve established that Carrot is not comparing himself to Charlton Heston, Carl Weston, or Moses, let’s get to the point…What are 5.10 commandments?

My lockdown has not been amazing, I haven’t been working finger strength on door casing, I haven’t been getting that cardio game on fleek, I haven’t been going push-up for push-up on #Challenges.  I have been sitting in front of my computer for 10-11 hours a day, every single day since March.  Working!

Responding to emails, typing up lecture notes, and recording lectures does nothing for finger strength or callouses.  As I sit here typing, I can feel my climbing strength plummeting like a V2 climber on a V10 route.  It’s not pretty, and mostly I’m in denial.  At least my co-morbidities are increasing!  (Oh, that’s not a good thing?)

So as I begin to accept the things I cannot change, i.e. as I stop dancing the denial twist, and accept that I will be starting over in terms of climbing strength and conditioning I came up with some commandments to help keep me right in the ol’ noggin! (What about the hypothetical people existing via Carrot’s inner dialogue? Sorry, let me fix my mistake…)  I came up with some commandments to help keep us right in the ol’ noggin.

If you’re anything like us, you’re eventually going to go back, and you are going to have to start from scratch, projecting 5.10’s, or 5.9’s or 5.8’s and that’s okay.  But, to help make the transition back into the climbing world, we undivinely offer The 5.10 commandments.

Thou shalt art follow 5 and 1/10th commandments to help people be okay with climbing 5.10s (Or dropping any number of grades during the pandemic)

5.10 Commandments

  1. Thou art shalt have fun. No furthereth explanation necessary.
  2. Thou art shalt not chase grades. Climbing is fun at any level.  Remembereth: difficulty doesn’t define enjoyment!
  3. Thou art shalt ease back into climbing when the time is right. Avoid injury, none thine wants to sit on the sideline for another extended period as thou rusheth back into things.
  4. Thou art shalt not taketh the community for granted. As ye hath missed climbing, know also that climbing has missed ye.  Taketh time to appreciate those who are still with us and those who are no longer with us.
  5. Thou art shalt maketh no haste. Rust in thine body leads to rust in thine mind.  Safety must not be forsaken, double checketh thine knots, double checketh thine equipment, and double checketh thine self before thine doth riggity wrecketh thine self.
    1. Ye shall sucketh, and that is okay, for sucketh is only temporary!

Life is changing, the world is changing, climbing is changing, I/we hope these commandments helpeth with the transition!  Stay safe everyone!

Carrot
Carrot (Co-writer)


  1. Just a little Moses humor.

14 Replies to “5.10 Commandments”

  1. Ok, so I swung by here to say thanketh you for liking my Behind The Blogger Tag post and was struck by the title of this post, and so I read it.

    Whilst I am (unfortunately, due to a strict Methodist upbringing – which I turned my back on once I was old enough to question the bible and the teachings) familiar with the bible (having read it twice) I know absolutely nothing (seriously – nada, zilch, zero) about climbing, as I have an inherent fear of heights.

    My point? Yes, I do haveth one!

    I seriously enjoyed this post; despite it’s biblical and climbing references – or perhaps because of them, ya made me lol!

    So, now I thanketh you for the like AND for the laughs. Causing giggles on what was a quiet, lazy, rather boring, Lords resting day, is a minor miracle (Not quite of biblical proportions though.) 😉

    Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That was funny and although I can’t climb for toffee your commandments are the same for most activities – I especially like the last one!

    Liked by 1 person

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