‘Twas the night before climbing.

‘Twas the night before climbing, and all through the camp

Our breath creates moisture and makes the tents damp;

The crash pads were strapped to the cartops with care,

In hopes that the send temps would be mild and fair;

The climbers were snuggled so warm in their bags, 

They massaged out the cramps in their necks and their legs;

A few by the fire still playing guitar,

Quietly argue about the name of a star;

I heard a loud cough and thought something was wrong,

But the folks at the fire just pulled out a bong;

The talk of the stars had suddenly faded,

The coughing and laughing had me agitated;

I gave them a ‘shh’, 4AM’s coming fast,

The laughs quiet to giggles but that didn’t last;

The laughing and shouting was making me weary,

But then it got worse…Conspiracy Theories;

“Putin is watching, and Soros is too,

Birds are just drones being driven by Q”;

Listening in I’ve never felt dumber,

I just want to sleep, and this is a bummer;

I don’t want to be rude, but rest I desire,

So, I open my tent and pee on the fire;

I want to have fun, but I don’t like your timing, 

In less than four hours we’re going to be climbing;

They considered my point and finally agreed,

To put away the liquor, the beer and the weed;

We had crammed in our tents like sardines in a can, 

And just at that moment the snoring began;

I’m the last one to sleep, but went to bed first,

I hate alpine starts they are the worst;

That snoring is loud, is murder too drastic,

Come on that’s a joke I’m being sarcastic;

I’m so overtired, I’m getting delirious,

I can’t fall asleep and it’s making me furious;

I control my breathing to make matters right,

And before I know it, I’m out like a light;

I’m having a dream of Beyoncé singing, 

But why’s it so loud? Wait, that’s a phone ringing;

Who leaves on their ringer during the night,

My blood starts to boil, and I want to fight;

I exit my tent to go walk around,

The night is just perfect, and it calms me down;

I came here to climb and be with my friends,

To hop on some rock and get a few sends;

Adrenaline and caffeine will carry me maybe,

Besides, who needs rest? Sleep is for babies;

To bed one more time, I might as well try it, 

I head back to my tent while everything’s quiet;

The next thing I know my friends are awake,

Making some coffee and fresh protein shakes;

Did I actually sleep I don’t really know,

But everyone’s pumped and ready to go;

We do our morning routines and jump in the car,

We head to the crag which isn’t too far;

To all the climbers like me, who just miss their bed,

Happy Climbing to you, we’ll sleep when we’re dead!


Carrot’s no Morgan Freeman, but for an audio version click here!

Carrot

Inspired by Clement Clarke Moore’s Poem: A Visit from St. Nicholas.

28 Replies to “‘Twas the night before climbing.”

  1. 😂😂😂 Oh man, I’m the type that keeps others awake… Your poem really brought life to the struggle of trying to sleep though. Haha, I’ll remember this next time I’m camping!

    Like

  2. I feel your pain. I’m a light sleeper, or non-sleeper when camping, hearing everything.

    I first heard “You can sleep when you’re old” from Ron Gregg, the guy behind Outdoor Research. He had more energy than ten people combined. Maybe because he could sleep through anything.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. WOW thedihedral, quite poem about camping but a bit scary you know haha. Always wished to go camping but not under rocks haha that’s scary to me i wouldn’t sleep all night. Nice one mate

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ferddiesky, thanks for love-n-support! Overhanging rocks can be scary for sure. We have to find a way to get you out camping next to the rocks, just not under them!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hysterical! Loved it!! Put visions in my head that i am not sure i want (peeing on fire) and i am wondering who you were with to inspire such a poem. Ha ha. Miss you guys!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rhonda, we miss you too! SO happy to hear that you are getting settled in a little bit. Please show us all the pictures you want!!! I hope you have a great rest of the year, lol!

      Like

  5. Could sub in paddle for climb and it still feels exactly accurate. As an early to bed person myself this was a great read. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahaha this was a fun read thank you! There is truly nothing worse than the smell of pee putting out fire. Seems like a great memory!!

    Liked by 1 person

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