Red Flags

Trusting people can be really hard. How are you supposed to know if your climbing partner is (forgive my pun if you get it) the one? I’m not saying we have the answers here at theDIHEDRAL…I mean, you guys remember me getting dropped…but we’ve certainly had our fair share of subpar climbing partners, and now we are going to share a list of red flags that we wish we could have recognized earlier in the aforementioned partners.

Carrot and High-Clip:

  1. Always talking about the new boulder routes.
  2. The only climbing rope they own is static.
  3. Their favorite Girl Scout Cookies are Do-Si-Dos.
  4. “Does this knot look right?”
  5. Navigating new routes based on their horoscope.
  6. Showing up to cragie without any snackies.
  7. Asking everyone if they saw Free Solo.
  8. Tucking the shirt into the underwear.
  9. Spraying beta when nobody asked.
  10. A one upper.
  11. Only ever talking about rock climbing.
  12. Chicken Nuggets are their favorite food.
  13. Bitcoin
  14. Humming too loudly
  15. Microdosing
  16. Macrodosing.
  17. Jealousy when you belay someone else.
  18. Men.
  19. Dropping you when you fall.
  20. Joe Rogan Podcast
  21. Any mention of Jordan Peterson.
  22. They hate reading.
  23. Socks with climbing shoes
  24. They don’t like dogs.
  25. Discouraging high clipping.
  26. They don’t follow theDIHEDRAL.
  27. Using tall people beta
  28. Saying being short is an advantage
  29. Want to tell you about their quirky belay device
  30. They’re not like the other climbers
  31. They’re different
  32. Ignoring injuries
  33. Not believing in hangboarding
  34. Can’t remember the specs of their rope
  35. Can’t stop bringing up their old climbing partner
  36. Claiming to be sane, happy person
  37. Functioning in the morning
  38. Preferring the morning
  39. Backing out of climbing plans because of poor decisions they made the night before
  40. Pants.
  41. Unable to send without a phone
  42. Climbing with weapons
  43. Saying they want to start training endurance, but never actually doing it
  44. Not judging the gym’s music
  45. Judging the gym’s music
  46. “At my old gym…”
  47. Taking their frustration at their session out on everyone else
  48. Unironically cursing and hitting the wall after a fall
  49. Minimizing the trauma of being dropped
  50. Not feeling called out by this list

We wish you the best of luck in your belaytionships to come. If you have any red flags to add to this list, please comment them below!


22 Replies to “Red Flags”

  1. I was usually put-off by partner with a full face mask and a chainsaw (excused as “for cleaning the route”). But if was the only time you had for a climb and they were available…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hilarious! This one cracked me up, “Their favorite Girl Scout Cookies are Do-Si-Dos.” And the showing up without any snackies is definitely a huge red flag!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Well done. I think you about covered it. Well, except maybe for megalomaniacal dictators who like to invade sovereign countries, but that was probably implied.

    Liked by 1 person

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