Halloween Costumes

Shopping for candy the day after Halloween is 100% the way to go (unless you don’t like candy, then it’s not the way to go).  Reese’s pumpkins for 50% to 75% off.  Yes!  Also, of all the Reese’s shaped candy, the pumpkin is the best.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re all good, but the pumpkin is Reese’s pièce de resistance!  Think of the classic peanut butter cup, it’s delicious!  If I were being picky, I could recommend that they use a better chocolate, but then we’re cutting into profit margins, and production costs, and changing price points, and that gets us into more of a hypothetical discussion of the best possible peanut butter cup, which is beyond the scope of this inquiry, so let’s just stick to what’s available.  The biggest weakness of the classic Reese’s peanut butter cup compared to Reese’s seasonal peanut butter cups is the thickness of the peanut butter.  A classic Reese’s peanut butter cup is quite thin when compared to all the other shapes.  What the classic has going for it is the shape.  I like the fact that it’s a circle.  It makes that first bite spectacular.  Biting into a circle compliments the shape of the human mouth perfectly.  So, the Reese’s Christmas tree, the Easter egg, and the Valentine’s Day heart all have a preferable thickness to the OG, they also have some holiday panache, but that panache comes with a price.  Biting into a tree doesn’t carry the same level of satisfaction as biting into the most complementary bite shape in the world, i.e., biting into a tree cannot match the satisfaction of biting into a circle.  In comes Reese’s pumpkins, they achieve the thickness unmatched by the original, and while technically oval, Reese’s pumpkins are close enough to being circular that gratification from the bite coefficient can still be achieved.  And you can buy them at almost any supermarket or drug store for 50% to 75% off the day after Halloween.  Obviously, this applies to all the holiday candies, so if Reese’s aren’t your thing, grab some candy corn, some spooky sour patch kids, or go grab a few pumpkins, or a full-on Halloween costume.  Deals abound on November 1^st!  Christmas is coming, Mariah Carey is thawing, and suppliers need room on the shelves.

All this is to say that I thought of some simple climbing themed Halloween costumes that anyone can pull off.  So, when you’re on your way to pick up enough cheap candy to sustain you through your next road trip, stop by the costume isle and see if you can grab some supplies on the cheap as well.

In no particular order (except the 1^st one is the best…by far).

1. A lobster costume.  The B-52’s would be so proud.  You dress up like a lobster and jump on the rocks, that is a costume party winner all day long!  ROCK LOBSTER!
2. Daniel Woods eyeball tattoo.  You can just draw this on your neck and now you are dressed like one of the greatest climbers of all time.  You could just dress like an eyeball and claim that you are Daniel Woods’ eyeball tattoo.  If you are good at make-up, you could paint Daniel Woods’s giant eyeball tattoo on your face, over your actual eyes, and now you have a horrifying yet conversational costume that will blow everyone away.
3. Dirtbag. All you have to do is empty a bag of potting soil, cut out holes for your arms and head, and wear it like a shirt.  Instant dirtbag!
4. A boulder, a route, or a wall.  These are all essentially the same, you just need to wear some boxes.
5. Abominable snowman.  You can play it straight and just be an abominable snowman.  They are associated with mountains, or you can dress like a cute snowman and behave abominably.
6. Superhero.  Getting a superhero costume and putting on a climbing harness is mildly funny.  Why would someone like Spiderman or Superman need a climbing harness?  I have no idea, but it is a conversation starter for sure!
7. Rockstar.  Similar to the superhero, but in this case, you dress like a rockstar and wear a harness.  Essentially you become Jared Leto. A rock star rockstar!
8. A Nalgene bottle.  I’m not sure how one would pull this off, but if I ever saw someone dressed like a Nalgene bottle, covered in stickers, I would lose it.  Maybe the only costume that could defeat a rock lobster in a costume contest.
9. Finally, as recommended by our own Gaia, you could dress like a carrot, and you are now your favorite climbing writer…Carrot!

Enjoy the candy, the costume ideas, and the fact that we will be inundated with Christmas for the next two months.  Also enjoy the tree shaped Reese’s peanut butter cups.  They’ll be full priced for a while and they aren’t circular, but they’re still yummy!