Are nunchucks cool?

I guess it depends on who you ask.

We took a poll on our Instagram page and a surprising number of voters affirm that nunchucks are indeed cool.  Despite the quality of our followers, the outcome of that poll is debatable.  So, let’s take a deeper look.

Pros

• Exercising with nunchucks offers a full-body workout.
  • Cardiovascular, strength and conditioning, coordination, stress relief, posture, hand speed, joint mobility, and body awareness are among the benefits of exercising with nunchucks.  All of which are especially useful for climbing.
• Nunchucks could be used for self-defense.
• Nunchucks are banned in California and Massachusetts.  I think this adds cool points, kind of like banning books somehow makes those books cooler.
• Bruce Lee used nunchucks, and Bruce Lee was super cool.
• Michelangelo (the turtle, not the artist) uses nunchucks, and he’s also cool.
• They are relatively easy to learn how to use.
  • This guy HERE claims to be able to teach you how to use nunchucks in three minutes, and he gives a bunch of ways one might acquire nunchucks, and he seems like he’s cool.
• It’s kind of cool that I have no idea if nunchucks is singular or plural?  Like is one side of a nunchucks called a nunchuck, or does it work like pants, where we call a singular item a pair?  I’m pretty sure that confusing pluralization is universally cool.
• You can find a nunchucks/pair of nunchucks on Amazon for under $10.

Cons

• Nunchucks can be dangerous.  They can cause harm to yourself, as well as people and objects around you.
• I actually thought they were called numchucks until I started writing this article.
• MS Word doesn’t actually recognize ‘nunchucks’ as a word, it underlies ‘nunchucks’ with the red squiggle line of blunder.
• Nunchucks are banned in California and Massachusetts.  I know that it’s a little bit cool, but let’s say you’re in California or Massachusetts and you want to do a little nunchucking before a climb.  You bust out the chucks, and who shows up?  The black and blue…not feeling too cool now, are you?
• Jeff
  • My grandparents used to live next to Jack on Smith St. They lived there for a long long time.  Jack lived alone in the large house next door for years.  As he got older, he needed a long-term care giver help him out.  His care-giver would borrow his car to do his shopping, she would manage his bills, and make sure his medicine was organized properly.  Eventually, near the end she would stay with Jack through the night.  Once Jack died, his nephew inherited everything.  A little money, a big house, and a car.  Jack’s nephew (Jeff) lived in Florida and came to Michigan (Smith St.) to make arrangements, including funeral arrangements, finalizing the will, and transferring deeds into his name. Initially, things worked out well for Jeff as he was able to rent his uncle’s house out to Jack’s caretaker. Jeff also gave the caretaker Jack’s car. The house was split into two apartments.  The main floor would be rented to the caretaker, and the upstairs would be available to Jeff whenever he came to Michigan.  Again, Jeff lived in Florida, and whatever stereotype you have for ‘Florida Man’, that’s Jeff.  Things started out just fine, but as time went on my grandparents’ new neighbor couldn’t help but to let her true colors show.  It turned out that she was a drug addict and a con artist.  The house and yard fell into shambles, late night visits from the police became the norm, and a string of nay-do-wellers were in and out of the house all day and night.  My grandparents weren’t looking forward to spending the rest of their retirement in this new dystopian arrangement, so the next time Jeff came for a visit, my grandpa (a real prince of a man) asked Jeff if he could speak to him.  Jeff, offended that my grandpa would have the nerve to call him out, took off his shirt mid-conversation and pulled out a nunchucks/pair of nunchucks and began twirling them around.  Jeff was a dishonorably discharged vet who had a feathered mullet and walked around wearing Hakama (traditional Japanese style pants).  I told you; Jeff is ‘Florida Man’.  Following their conversation, Jeff began regularly pacing back and forth in front of my grandparents’ house, shirtless, twirling his nunchucks.  I’m sure he thought he was bringing a real Jean Claude van Damme vibe, but in reality he was nothing more than an 80’s movie montage villain.  Luckily, the housekeeper would eventually be carted off to prison and Jeff would lose the house due to a backlog of property taxes.  I’m not sure what ever happened to Jeff, I assume he’s walking around shirtless somewhere in Tallahassee, twirling his nunchaku and reciting lines from Lionheart.  Perhaps Jeff’s weak intimidation effort can be forgiven, but the black-mark he put on nunchucks will never vanish.

So, are nunchucks cool?  I suppose it not only depends on who you ask, but also who you are.  For Bruce Lee and Michelangelo, the answer is a resounding YES.  For Jeff and every other person that has ever lived in or around Florida, the answer is NO¹!

1. Just kidding Floridians, you can be cool too, just not Jeff!