Doo Doo Brown

Editor’s Note: The views expressed are amended from a talk by Carrot at a Psi Beta Induction ceremony, and don’t necessarily represent the views of theDIHEDRAL.

I’m a little nostalgic, I gave the keynote at this very same induction over ten years ago. At the time I read a story called The Puppy That Lost His Way, and remarked at how lazy the boy who lost his dog was, how hard you gotta work if you really want something, and then tied that into education, I think that same point holds today!

So, there’s this beat…

It was really popular when I was in High School. In my freshman year, there was no point at which someone wasn’t banging this beat out on a locker or desk or table somewhere. There were actually quite a few pop songs that used this beat, but in my school the accompanying lyrics were simply “doo doo brown” repeated over and over.

So, there was this kid, Anthony Brown who I would play basketball with sometimes. Now, my family lived in an old house, built in the 1920’s, and these old houses had one-pane wood frame windows. In order to cut down on the draft in the winter we would put up this thick window plastic. Anthony was really funny; he used to tease me about living in a house with plastic windows. He would tease everyone, but never in a mean way, he always had a knack for knowing where the line was.

I remember this one time in English class, I think Anthony and I were the only freshman in a class with a bunch of seniors, that bunch of seniors started hitting that beat…doo doo brown and directing it at Anthony. He was clearly not finding it amusing, and I don’t remember exactly what I said but it was something along the lines of “forget them, they all got plastic windows too”. Anthony kind of chuckled and that was it.

I don’t think I talked to Anthony more that five times since that semester.

Fast forward to senior year. At the time, both of my sisters were working at Dairy Queen, and if I was able to go in at closing time, they would hook me up with some freebies. So, one night I went up to Dairy Queen, and got some free fries. I was walking home and had to cross southbound Gratiot (not the nicest neighborhood in the world). A group of guys comes toward me and wanted to know what was in the bag.

“It’s just French fries.”

“Well, we want em!”

I couldn’t believe that I was about to get jumped for a bag of free fries, but I was being stubborn and probably a little dumb and thought to myself “there is no way I’m giving up these fries”.

They started pushing me, and I just cradled the fries like a power-running fullback. They were grabbing for them and beating me up a little bit, eventually I got knocked down, and I was just thinking “I’ll die before I give up these French fries”. They kept pulling at me and kicking me, and I just wouldn’t let go of the fries.

After a little of this, some guy starts yelling and running toward us. The fry bandits take off, the fries are ruined, and this guy helps me up. It was dark, and I was a little disoriented, and all I hear is “hey you still got plastic on your windows?”

Fucking Anthony Brown!

I just busted out laughing…

When I thanked him, he mentioned the time I stuck up for him in freshman English class. I had completely forgotten about that. We talked for another second, and I went home…empty handed!

Not exactly The Puppy Who Lost His Way, but there is a point to this story!

Three things I offer as takeaways from that experience.

The obvious! Be nice to people, that shit comes back.
Don’t be dumb! Why risk getting hurt over something like a bag full of free Dairy Queen fries?
Be Dumb! Not always, but sometimes. I recognize that being stubborn for fries is ridiculous. But when it comes to things like dreams you gotta hold on like a some idiot clenching a bag of French fries on a dark night while being mugged. Education as well as climbing is the same way. You are going to suffer, you’re going to get kicked in the head a little bit, but if you squeeze your tightest, you’re going to cross the finish line. And believe me when I tell you that it will be just a little bit easier if you remember to be kind and accept kindness along the way!