Climbing Mascots

Hey, so I (Coach Max) started watching this documentary series about mascots recently. I got real into it because at one point I thought of wanting to mascot for a living (a long time ago). I had experience as a mascot at one of my old jobs, so I know how it feels and the type of vibe you have to give. I came to think about it and was curious what would be a good rock climbing mascot. So I’m asking High-Clip and Carrot to join me in describing their perfect rock climbing mascot.  What would it look like, who would it be?  We’ll plug our descriptions into ChatGPT to see how they turn out, and hopefully you let us know what you think! 

Coach Max – He is a muscular sloth standing up, with a huge smile showing all his teeth and an orange headband on his head, a grey tank top, black shorts, yellow and black rock climbing shoes. He should be wearing a rock climbing harness, with a rock climbing rope wrapped around both shoulders featuring two carabiners on each side. He has glasses made out of belay devices. He carries around a green chalk bag and throws confetti at people.

Carrot – For my mascot, I want something the characterizes a large swath of the climbing community (disregarding boulderers of course).  I want simplicity rather than a complex set of climbing characteristics.  My first thought was a cute dihedral, then I thought something along the lines of the Peanut character Pigpen to represent the dirtbags, but I wanted to go for originality, so I settled on a callous.  All climbers have callouses (even boulderers) and while I’m not 100% sure, I am pretty confident that there is no other mascot in the world that is a cute, inviting, sentient, happy callous.

Here is my vision: Clippy the Callous is a mascot who represents rock climbers of all ilk.  Clippy is  a giant callous nearly 7 feet tall, he should look kind of dopey with big happy eyes and a cartoon looking smile.  Clippy should be hanging around in the mountains ready to cheer on rock climbers with expressions like “Allez Allez Allez” and “You got this”

High-Clip – I’d like to think my mascot would be more of a traditional mascot, in the sense that its purpose would be to cheer on its team. You’d be at the crag, and the mascot would be there leading cheers (what would those even be?) and doing cartwheels (obviously). Hopefully, as you are cruxing out, scared out of your mind, you’d look down, see the friendly mascot, and power through the send.

Who is this fellow? Well, she’s a great climber herself: Kam the Koala. Kam has an incredibly bushy tail for napping, and adorable, round eyes for maximal beta spotting. She always has crag snacks in her pouch. She carries a full trad rack around, mountaineer-style, in case anyone ever needs some quick pro. Kam is there to support her fellow climbers on the wall and on the ground!

Now, while all these mascots are great, clearly there is one that is better than the rest, feel free to comment below about which is your favorite!