Blank. Blank. Blank. Shit… I am blank. Every other day I feel more like a zombie than an actual human being. If I am honest, I don’t remember when was the last time I truly felt full of energy…Oh man, I need to help myself, NOW ! I don’t drink coffee nor energy drinks, and I don’t know why the heck I can’t stop writing while I sing. Every time I type a word, music comes out of my tongue. OH MY GOD, make it stop ! It is so late I do not function, I am exhausted, didn’t I told ya ? This needs to end, right here… I will start again and I will try to pretend that what I wrote it’s just not there.
I am tired, I truly am tired, but for some reason…I cannot sleep. I was planning to wake up early and write while being well rested, but because I can’t fall asleep, I have decided to do a little experiment. I want to see what happens when I allow myself to free topic at 11:40pm after a long day of classes and rehearsal. 1, 2, 3, GO !
These last few weeks I have been rehearsing for a play and I have been completely possessed by it. This production consists of monologues and, as you can see (hint, hint..First paragraph that it is totally NOT there) I can’t stop myself from thinking as one. Every time I see a typed word, I see the monologue. A script slowly being formed before my eyes as each letter progressively appears on the screen. Italicized, bolded, and italicized again… We were supposed to cover our faces. Even though I love theater, I can tell you that -based on the evidence- even a theater enthusiast like me needs a little break from it at 11:52pm.
I am planning to climb tomorrow, I need to wind down and I am so grateful for this sport because it helps me to do just that. I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my struggle to balance climbing with my other commitments and I have, thankfully, found a way to do so…Well, partially, but every step of the way counts. I am trying to go at least once a week and dedicate as much time as I can to myself through it. I have been working on a particular V2 that is killing me, an almost getting there V3 and a you are so close 5.11. I get so invested and into it that I forget the time I arrive at the gym and barely notice the one I leave at. It had been a while since I hand’t found an activity that would leave me both exhausted and relaxed, and you know what ? I love it… It is already 12:17am.
I am taking a lead climbing class the day after tomorrow, I am both excited and nervous. A friend of mine teaches it and I am looking forward to learn from him. That is one the greatest things about climbing, I believe.. I believe that its community of outdoor loving, adventure seekers is one of the greatest things about it. To learn from a friend, and then to be able teach that to someone else and become a friend is something that I do not take for granted. Can you be friends with the entire rock climbing community ? I am no sure about that… But we could try ? 12:31am.
I love to act, theater has been a part of my life ever since I was little; we first met when I was 8. I love physically and mentally demanding sports, they are a reflection of who I am; we first met when I was 17. I need to sleep, it is a basic human need; it is 12:36am.
Observation: Eyes are opened; mind wanders.
Problem: Cannot fall sleep.
Hypothesis: Cannot fall asleep due to overstress
Experiment: “Late Night Conversations”
Conclusion: I need to sleep.