Climbing Horoscope

Talking about horoscopes with Carrot the other day, we wondered how a climbing based one would be like. He suggested me to give it a try by giving a traditional horoscope a fun twist. After thinking about it for a couple of seconds, I accepted his challenge and decided to write a climbing horoscope because… Why not ?


Aries, you are reaching your birthday cycle and the moon of March 28 will prove to be beneficial for you. You are entering a new phase of life and the planets are aligned in a way that will motivate you do what you do best, live life to the fullest. Make sure to take advantage of this situation and introduce some adventure into your life. In addition, this week shows a lot of prosperity financially wise. That transaction you have been patiently waiting for will finally be made. Therefore, treat yourself during your birthday week; if you have been longing for new gear, go for it !!!


The moon is transiting through your sign, marking the beginning of a new lunar cycle. This energy will help you to read and understand situations in a better way. Based on this flow, take the courage to finally try that route that has been intimidating you; get over your fears and allow this energy to fuel you !


You might have been too caught up in work lately and have not had the opportunity to hit the gym as much as you would have liked to. Give yourself a break and remember the importance of balance in life. Do not ignore that urge to relax and release stress; if you feel that climbing will allow you to do that, treat yourself Gemini, you deserve it.


Your ruling planet, the Moon, is currently in conjunction with the Sun which can make you a little nostalgic and unsatisfied. If you do not feel content with your performance or feel unmotivated with your current routine, use that creativity of yours to find new ways to challenge yourself. You have the ability to grow exponentially, so… Chalk up !!!


Good news Leo ! The conjunction between the Moon and your ruling planet, the Sun, is sending some positive vibes your way. You might have felt weak during your last few climbs or indisposed, but fear no more, because this new cycle will help you to revitalize and it will give you that dose of energy that you have been desperately needing. On a side note, if you are still worried about your heath, you should definitely go and get it checked. Remember, If you want to be in optimal shape, you better take care of you health first.


You are crushing it right now ! You have your head in the game and have been successful in overcoming previous challenges. Those routes that seemed impossible before are impossible no more. Mercury’s direct influence and the new lunar cycle will continue to clear your mind and revitalize you. However Virgo, it is important that you do not lose your focus, because if you do, you might end up missing that last move… Agh !


Libra, be careful with your climbing shoes and make sure that they are still in optimal conditions. You have been complaining about pains that you did not have before and they might all stem from having the wrong pair of shoes. It is important that you take care of your feet, as they are your support. This week will come with a little of personal disappointments and confusion because you might not get the results you have been waiting for. Do not fret my dear friend, you will be able to get past that crux; always remember that you are your greatest ally.


Do not rush Scorpio, Jupiter and Venus are retrograde and this can lead to misinterpretations. If there is someone at your gym that has caught your attention, take your time before approaching the person and offering your belay services. On the other hand, be careful with what you say and how you say it to your climbing partner, you want to avoid putting your dynamic in jeopardy because of a misinterpretation.


Even though your ruling planet Jupiter is retrograde, the direct energy from Mars counteracts some of its negative effects. This being said, you will have a broad spectrum of possibilities smiling at you. Figuring out beta will be a breeze and you will feel that, some days more than others, your recognition skills will be on point. Do be careful, as those retrograde effects are still lingering around and not everyone will agree with your take on climbs and vice versa. If you think a particular move will not work, be diplomatic in the way you voice out and share your input, you do not want to hurt other people’s feelings.


If you are currently looking for a new climbing partner, be careful to whom you delegate that responsibility. Sometimes we believe that anyone is apt to belay us and forget that we are individuals with different styles; get to know this person better before solidifying a partnership. Sometimes it is better to boulder than to put your climb in the hands of the wrong person.


Let go of those memories from the past that have been currently haunting you. The fact that your former partner didn’t give you enough slack while clipping in or did not commit to the burn while lowering you does not mean that everyone will do the same. If this person comes back asking for a second chance, you do not have to accept his/her proposal, but forgiving means letting go… And not of the rope.


Take advantage of that positive energy flowing inside of you to tackle those problems that have been tempting you but you were unsure of. Your ruling planet Neptune is direct, which creates a stable atmosphere that allows you to discern right from wrong… Pisces, if you were considering to hit the crag, this is the week for you to do so, the odds are in your favor.

Fire Sign      Earth Sign      Air Sign      Water Sign

This Horoscope was inspired by Horoscopos Univision and suited to meet a climbing approach; any assertion must be credited to the previous mentioned. 

Gaia Co-Writer theDIHEDRAL

2 Replies to “Climbing Horoscope”

  1. Hilarious!! Aquarius had me snorting through my nose….they are all so funny and really, any climber would relate and BELIEVE these! Lol! Way better than an every day horoscope 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha thank you !!! It took me a while to get this done but had lots of fun writing it, I am so glad that you enjoyed reading it !!!

      Take care,



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