Welp, I Got COVID-19 (And Other Quarantine Musings)

welp.

The quarantine struggles continue.

Two weeks ago I did it. I was the first of theDIHEDRAL team to contract COVID-19. Unfortunately I found out that a close co-worker of mine had contracted the virus, and subsequently passed it to me before they had started getting symptoms. So, I have been stuck in my house, with no outside contact now for nearly two weeks

(Side note: I am doing much better now and luckily only had to endure 3-4 days of symptoms).

During this time I have really had to come to terms with a lot of the things I’ve been thinking about, and posting about on this website.

One is, I simply don’t take enough time to stop and think.

For me, the temptation during this time to ease any feelings of anxiety with video games and climbing YouTube videos is often too much to bear. It’s so easy to just constantly keep a podcast going in the background, constantly have music playing, or get lost in some video game for an ungodly amount of time.

Then, SNAP! A week later I wake up and wonder where all the time has gone. I often feel like I’m barely even making memories of the moments I’m living through. Likely because watching a tv show simply isn’t very memorable. And so, time begins to slip away, like a beginning climber’s Adidas tennis shoes on a crimpy V4.

Now all this to say, I think I have recently found a simple, first-step solution to this problem. I’m not going to try and make this quarantine memorable by trying to somehow force the best week of my life. I’m just going to go sit outside, with no phone and no electronics, and just think.

I think part of the way we create internal references for the passage of time in our own lives is through our own personal development. Some of the times I remember the most are those in which I learned something that transformed my life. We often timetable our own lives in a way that is linked from enlightenment to enlightenment. Much like chapters in a book, or acts in a play.

However, with no substantial life event to break up the monotony, time feels like it’s not taking place. With no development of my mind and body, there is no positive connection to the passage of time. In reality, the only connection I might make that time has passed may be the negative deterioration of my body, as I have been unable to do my regular physical exercise regimen.

And so, I believe that these quiet times, however brief, can lead to a more positive relationship with the idea that time is racing away from me. As this lockdown continues, hopefully I’ll be able to look back on it as the start of a new chapter, where I focus on the exploring of my own mind, rather than trying to avoid its dark cavities and crevices.

Let me know what your thoughts on this? How do you catalogue the passage of time? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Casen (Co-writer)

40 Replies to “Welp, I Got COVID-19 (And Other Quarantine Musings)”

  1. I journal at least every other day what I did, what I thought, and how I used my time to hike and exercise. The passage of time is very weird as I also retired in January. All of isolation, Covid, Retirement, Closing a Business is mixed together in my head space. I also have been using the One Minute Pause from Wild At Heart daily with my husband since February (ok, we missed some days) to center my thoughts and release my anxieties.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I’ve probably self-proclaimed myself an “expert” on “exploring dark cavities and crevices” in my mind. Hehe.

    It becomes a fascinating process, though make sure to not sink too deep in your own head, as that sorta wanderlust will make you believe you are right at every moment. Meaning, when someone is “stuck in their head”, they rarely ever engage in another person’s input. They love to think they are right, because such isolation has allowed them to think, constantly.

    Indeed, this lock-down/isolation has encouraged thought, not repressed it. It has enforced the free thinker’s ways, not subdued them.

    Though, I’ve always been this way. When the lock-down started, I didn’t even know when or that it did. It was just another day for me. I’m always in the house. Lol.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I wonder as you wander in the crevices of your mind, will you find a gnome sitting there ripping up the journals of memory and making new dreams and nightmares to keep your mind amused while you sleep or perhaps the full orchestra of angels preparing to play you a lullaby? You know it’s like the back of the settee in there right? Where loose change and small pencils stay safe from the normal moments, while our day to day sits and watches or talks on the phone. To reach in and explore the crevices means to tidy up and get the vacuum going, which might disturb the gnome at its job.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Don’t ever think of things as one-sided.

        You might be that gnome, not merely there to clean the place, though to add more complexity to your otherwise simple day.

        The brain possesses two hemispheres, remember that. The two hemispheres of dry logic and wet emotion. Memories stay roundabout. They are always like the river, always coming back, even if there is a drought. Emotions, or memories, are against logic, and they are chaotic and spread. More complexity is more emotions. Less emotions is more logic and reasoning.

        To add complexity to one’s life, is like adding more dirty laundry to a pile, though a pair of pants were only worn once. It is needless. Wear it, again, and keep the day simpler.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Oh the wearing of pants (in the British sense) on a university level of usage by turning them back to front, then inside out and the inside out and back to front and then someone using them to dry the dishes. LOL

        Liked by 3 people

  3. It’s amazing how quickly the time slipped away from us and yet in my case, I feel like I have no productivity attached to it. I kept thinking I wanted to do this or that, but it just didn’t happen and before long, poof! The bans are being lifted and I’m still not moving.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Take heart Beloved, for when we forget to live in this moment and we think unkindly of ourselves that we’ve done nothing or we think we will do nothing, then we are forgetting that we have lived through and we can do so again. In this moment there is the potential, not then or there, but here and now to be appreciative, joyful or at least in peace. ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

      Liked by 3 people

  4. Good plan! I, too have let too much time slip by with little to show for it. Just in the last month I have been reading non stop , non fiction books about or set on the Camino pilgrimage trail. I feel I have learned much from them. My kindle library once again looks impressive. I just discovered that Alexa will read these books to me, so I spent a lot of time immersed in them. Plus swimming and climbing enchanted rock.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Very sorry you got it, though very NOT sorry you know how to NOT WASTE TROUBLE! Excellent! THe best week of your life? Go You! Love it. Friends don’t let friends climb slabs, and you certainly sidestepped the “slab of Covid-19 self-deflation.” Excellentato! Without all the exterior chatter contributing to head chatter… I’ll look forward to see the “route you create” over the week and beyond. What a great 1st The Fool step. Best to the ground rising up to support your every step, especially where there was no ground there when you began the step. 🙂 !!

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Glad to read you are feeling better. Since retirement and starting this blog, I’ve been documenting travel experiences. That has been more difficult this year than ever. Take care.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Glad you’re feeling better and thank you for sharing your perspective… I am curious what video game(s) you’ve lost a week too… I’ve definitely lost some productivity due to RDR2 and Fortnite LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve been self-isolating as much as possible. Meantime, I’m taking care of some basic home repair and revamping tasks. House restoration is something I’ve never done until this year.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I am so fortunate that i haven’t contracted COVID-19, let alone even had to get tested. In the height of this, the job I had worked for temporarily laid me off. Obviously, I took advantage of this hiatus writing more first drafts and editing a couple others, then submitting two, one of which was recently accepted by my publisher and will be out in print some time next year. I can definitely see where you are coming from where you would like to just sit and think without worrying about any outside distractions. It’s quite remarkable when one just allows thoughts to entertain in a sort of stream of conscience mode.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I enjoyed this post tremendously. Last night a massive storm came through and knocked out my electricity for hours. I watched and listened as the storm blew in, just like I did as a little girl. Once it passed, I sat in the darkness for hours, just noticing how my eyes adapted to the lack of screens and electric lighting. I listened to the wind and rain, and occasional sirens. I thought about the first time I fell in love. This is the blessing of lockdown: Sudden stillness that allows us to hear and see a much broader spectrum. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with illness and stillness, and for your reflection on epiphany and experience.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I think it was Einstein who once said, reality is an illusion. There is entire universe out there that we do not perceive with our five senses. That thought inspires me to try and make a deeper connection with life on a day to day basis, no matter how routine or mundane it is.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I don’t. I’d about given up on time before the epidemic. With all of the social activities gone that I needed to know what month, day or hour it was, there is no longer any need to keep track. I can honestly say I’m not doing much of anything I’ll remember. I did pick the wrong trail the other day on top of a mountain, in 101°heat. I had other choices, but picked one that put me mostly in the sun. I’d just had a big delicious lunch and a strong beer, after hiking to a cliffside restaurant on an easier trail. There were more ups and downs on the trail I picked to return than I’d remembered. Hiked way down and barely made it back up to the parking area. Drank a lot of water. Kept having to stop to catch my breath, and was tempted once to simply lay down. Who knows if I’d have gotten up again. However, I made it back, and felt bettter. But, I’m going to remember that hike!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sorry to hear about your personal bout with the virus! Wishing you a continued speedy recovery. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    I also struggle sometimes with wrapping my head around all of this sudden change and the realization that much of my ‘time’ is spent simply reacting to life, perhaps occasionally trying to escape it, versus living it. That personal development you speak of can be challenging in even the more ‘normal’ times, let alone all of the changing dynamics currently that the pandemic has forced most of us to consider.

    Finding a quiet place without distraction to pray/meditate is important to my mental/spiritual health. Being mindful and aware of what is going on currently in my life doesn’t require surrendering to fear and restlessness. Developing a more productive, healthier way to live is a good approach to living life regardless of the circumstances. Otherwise, I become susceptible to wandering down the rabbit hole where fear and anxiety thrives, and that’s a tough place to get out of once I’ve arrived there.

    So… Acceptance isn’t always easy, but I’ve found that it’s a lot easier than trying to change things in life that ultimately I have no control over.

    The days go slow, the years go fast. But what is my purpose for today? That helps me keep things simple and manageable. 🙂

    Get well soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. The part about wondering where the week went got me. Trouble is, one has so much time on one’s hands there’s only so much productive, useful, memorable stuff you can do with it. That doesn’t take away the feeling of simply wasting time though. It’s really hard on the brain.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I too feel that time has been passing by without life happening since this pandemic began. The things we used to do the people we used to share our time with have all been put on pause. That is why I started to blog, it encourages me to start reflecting on what I love, and how I can recapture that in this limited situation we’re currently experiencing. Glad you are recovering well. I’m sure it was a scary experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. This is a great post and I’m glad to hear that you’re recovering well.

    I’ve been keeping a gratitude diary. A lot less high-maintenance (and requiring less commitment) that a journal, I have to record five things that I’m grateful for each day. They can be as simple as good weather and good coffee, or as emotionally important as the fact I caught up with a friend or family member. I’ve found it really helps me mark the passage of time and also try to be ‘in the moment’ a lot more, as I’ve come to better appreciate the important stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I love reading everyone’s thoughts on this. I find that anything creative gives me a real lift. Music is fantastic, even if it’s just listening.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I don’t approach life in terms of time. I approach life in terms of completed cycles of action.

    During lock down and 4 months of being unemployed, I made a list of what I wanted to accomplish and focused on completing one item at a time.

    Each time I completed something I got a sense that I was moving forward in life.

    This worked for me. Kept me focused and sane.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I completely agree with what you said about times of learning and growth being the most memorable. I feel a meaningful and fulfilling life is derived from moments where we find ourselves at a cross roads, or have gained a new perspective. I think what you’ve uncovered here is the fact that we can lose our passion for life when we succumb to our natural compulsion towards pleasure seeking!
    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. It is good to hear that your bout with the virus allowed you to recover over a short period of time. Unlike many, being in the house has not bothered me. I’m not big on crowds or crowded places. I have engaged in dealing with projects that i have ignored. Getting rid of paper. Organizing closets. Preparing items to give away. Spending a little time trying to be a little more creative with my photograpy. After all of that, there is still more to do. Be Well. Stay Safe.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. “the negative deterioration of my body, as I have been unable to do my regular physical exercise regimen.”

    By the time you get to my age, the negative deterioration of your body can become a dominant method of marking time. Each new ache that doesn’t go away and each injury that won’t fully heal – ever. The discovery that you are simply unable to do your regular physical exercise regimen any more and then each successive scaling back of it. The hike you couldn’t complete, the bone that broke for no apparent reason, the little surgery you needed that puts you down for weeks to months.

    Make your memories while you can. Old age will be upon you before you know it and physical things will not be memorable in a good way. Then you’ll need today’s memories to look back on and something rather different to make future memories.

    Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
    Old Time is still a-flying;
    And this same flower that smiles today
    Tomorrow will be dying.

    The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
    The higher he’s a-getting,
    The sooner will his race be run,
    And nearer he’s to setting.

    That age is best which is the first,
    When youth and blood are warmer;
    But being spent, the worse, and worst
    Times still succeed the former.

    Then be not coy, but use your time,
    And while ye may, go merry;
    For having lost but once your prime,
    You may forever tarry.

    To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time
    Robert Herrick – 1591-1674

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Thank you for sharing. Sorry you had to go through getting Covid-19 even if it was comparatively mild.

    I strongly relate to losing time in video games and TV. Looking back and realising it was only in the moment we were able to appreciate it is an odd feeling. I’m in the process of finishing writing my first book, and finishing recording my first EP. This helps me have milestones to help track the passage of time. I know I need to more definitely plan out my weeks so I know when it is acceptable for me to spend *some* time playing video games or watching TV.

    All the best with your continued recovery. Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Yeah
    We need to stop and break free of the devices and electronic entertainment from time to time.
    Get that perspective back in life, identify the opportunities around us and set our course until the next stop…
    Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I measure the year by how the garden is doing and what the moon is doing. Much of that includes hauling buckets of dishwater out to the favored plants. That in turn leads to washing many dishes, and myself once I have exerted. Outdoors still motivates what I do even though I may hide from it.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I agree with you about the passage of time. If life becomes monotonous where every day is the same stuff, then we don’t have memorable moments that serve as a signpost in our memories. I think that’s how time can fly so fast that it surprises us (though time can fly when having fun, too). Our society seems to put so much emphasis on being busy all the time, and we can get caught up with our overflowing, never-ending to-do list that we miss out on the special moments possible throughout each day. It makes sense in that if a day is not particularly memorable, we don’t remember it as something distinct, so the similar days just blur together.

    I’ve thought about this for years, and I try to realize the specialness of each day (though I’m not always successful). I’m in my 40s now but I don’t feel like time has really flown by at any stage.

    Also to go with something you said, I think it’s important to have some quiet time regularly (at least once per week) so we can stop, clear our minds, and look at our life from a big picture view. It’s a good time to think about where your life is, where it’s going, where you want it to go, as well as examining long-term goals that aren’t very measureable, such as being a better person, spouse, parent, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. I write, draw, play music, and grow a garden. Time is measured by what is ripe in the garden and what I cook. Last week was a blackberry coffee cake, salsa, and pesto. It’s a great time to clean things out (such a good metaphor for the times). It’s an art getting used to nothingness. It doesn’t come by often. Explore it and find new treasure.

    Liked by 1 person

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