theDIHEDRAL Burger

Carrot and High-Clip have been tasked with designing the ultimate climbers burger.  Their gym has an attached restaurant that has been ranked by National Geographic as having one of the Top 7 Burgers in the USA.  The 5ATE Cafe!  The 5ATE really does have outstanding burger options (even for vegetarians like us), and each month there is a burger of the month.  For years Carrot and High-Clip have been recommending superb ideas for the burger of the month and for years they have been turned down.  In all fairness the recommendations did include ideas such as the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Burger, The Triangle Burger, and the Inside Out Burger.  But today we witness an honest attempt at something so scrumptious that it can only be known as theDIHDERAL Burger.

Here are the requirements: Sourdough Bun, hamburger or blackbean burger.

Here are the the disavowed toppings (based on the authors tastes): Onions, Mushrooms, Tomatoes, Pickles, Mustard, Arugula, Olives, Swiss/American/Bleu Cheese, Meat, Pineapple.

Here are some of our favorite toppings: BBQ Sauce, Pesto, Smoked Gouda, Fig Jelly, Lettuce, Spinach, Teriyaki, Bean Sprouts, Any Other Type of Cheese, Avocado, Ketchup, Chipotle Aioli, Carrots.

Carrot and High-Clip each get one and only one veto.  Meaning if Carrot demands that carrots be on theDIHEDRAL Burger, High-Clip can veto that selection.

In Summary here is what we have going into the burger lab: Sourdough Bun, a burger option, no onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, etc. allowed and two ingredient vetoes.

The Burger Lab:

Carrot = Purple Text

– High-Clip = Blue Text

High-Clip, the bun at 5ATE is so good, it’s kind of like a homemade sourdough english muffin style bun.  I feel like the bun with nothing on it would be an excellent burger, I mean not technically a burger, but who cares?

It’s called bread, and there’s nothing better than bread. I think that option might be too powerful…we’re going to have to think of something more reasonable.

Right, stay focused Carrot, we’re trying to get on the menu!  Okay, I have a good idea!  What is a word people use when they have a good idea?


Yes, Eureka! We should each describe the best burger we’ve ever had, and see if we can merge them into theDIHEDRAL Burger.  For Plan B, we can try choosing three things apiece from our favorite toppings, then we each use our veto, and see where that lands us, what do you think?

Still dangerous, but let’s try it.

High-Clip’s Favorite Burger: Jimmy’s Old Town Tavern Burger (aka the JOT Burger)…this thing is crazy. It’s a classic burger with lettuce, onions, etc., but then it also has BBQ sauce and onion rings on top. Plus a killer bun. And Fontina cheese.

Carrot’s Favorite Burger: My favorite burger was from a build your own burger restaurant, and I stumbled onto something that really smacked!  Bottom bun, tzatziki, burger, feta, grilled pineapple, coleslaw, top bun.

The Merge: Bun, Lettuce, Burger, Feta, Fontina, BBQ Sauce, Tzatziki, Slaw, Bun (Onions and Pineapple are in the no fly zone so they get cut.)

What do you think?

Somehow I think the BBQ sauce and tzatziki won’t work so nicely together…

I agree, we want to create culinary delight, not culinary confusion!

So true!

Let’s see what Plan B looks like and see which burger is worthy of our approval.  We’ll alternate on the options, and make the vetoes at the end.

Plan B: Bun, Burger, Slaw, Smoked Gouda, Teriyaki, Avocado, Carrots, Bean Sprouts, Bun.

What’s the verdict, Carrot?  

Self sacrifice on this one but I gotta veto carrots.  What are you cutting?

Sadly, I too must self sacrifice and cut out the sprouts.

RIP carrots and sprouts, maybe next time?  So, High-Clip, if you have to pick between The Merge and Plan B, who are you going with?

Given that I like things that taste good, I think I’m going with Plan B. What about you?

Oh, I couldn’t agree more, Plan B for the win!  Now all we have to do is submit the idea to our friends at the 5ATE. 

theDIHEDRAL Burger: Bun, Burger, Smoked Gouda, Avocado, Slaw, Teriyaki, Bun.

Real talk, do you think we’ll ever actually see theDIHEDRAL Burger on the menu?

Listen, it’s been a long time coming, and we finally have a realistic option. It’s not quite as good as the bread option, but I think they’ll have a hard time saying no. Agree?

I do agree, it’s got a real chance!  So…we need to get together soon and see what sides could possibly go along with the glorious theDIHEDRAL burger.

Smart move.

Okay, we’ll keep you posted as to whether or not we make the menu, but until then, our sides and drinks will be coming soon! Stay tuned, and please let us know what you think of theDIHEDRAL Burger!

25 Replies to “theDIHEDRAL Burger”

  1. You talk about what’s ON the burger, but what about what’s IN the burger? If making a burger from meat or something like Beyond Meat, garlic needs to be mixed into that meat or meat-like substance. If one were to permit onions, that’s also where finely-minced sauteed onions belong.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I vote to put you on meat prep!!! I am so lazy when it comes to food, that I’d settle for a frozen black bean patty. I kind of like the idea of adding garlic to the patty, whatever it’s made of. Thanks for the inspiration!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Fingers crossed that it gets on the menu, but if it doesn’t I think it is worth trying to make at home. Either way, I’ll let you know how it goes! Thanks for the support!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Can’t argue with the simplicity of that. We are finally getting an In-N-Out 10 minutes from where I live, and I’m pumped to see what the it’s all about!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely! Whenever we come down from the Wapta Icefields, we always go to a small Cafe in Lake Louise called Petyo’s, after a famous outfitter. They have the best Peyto Burger. Your Official Burger makes me hanker for a Peyto. Better drag my butt up that glacier again!

        Liked by 1 person

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