CHOPPED STYLE

Have you ever seen the Food Network television hit show “Chopped”?  If not let me lay it out for you. Contestants get a basket filled with ingredients that don’t exactly go together, and compete to make some kind of Franken-meal out of the mismatched food.  All parts in the basket must be incorporated to make it all come together.

I (Carrot) am giving each member of theDIHEDRAL a “basket” of ingredients to come up with a recipe for a different component of a complete campfire meal.  Since our general focus is based in the outdoors, our kitchen, tools, and ingredients will be restricted to an open fire, 1 liter of water, a knife, and anything in our “basket” i.e. if there isn’t a pan in the basket then we can’t use a pan.

Appetizer (High-Clip)

Basket Contents:

½ package of broken saltines

1 sweet potato

1 can of coconut flakes

1 pack of cheese from a box of mac and cheese

3 pack of Taco Bell mild sauce

1 pack of instant oatmeal

(High-Clip): Stuffed Potatoes

I’d like to start with two things:

  1. Carrot, you’re the worst.
  2. Remember to be careful while cooking, and try not to break your saltines too much.

Okay! Get ready for some cheesy goodness:

Step 1: Preheat your fire to 3 feet of flames.

Step 2: Open coconut flakes and pour into box of mac and cheese. Fill about 75% of can with water. Add cheese and instant oats, and heat over fire, stirring occasionally.

Step 3: Coat sweet potato with water. Add coconut flakes to the skin.

Step 4: Open sweet potato, and crumble saltines inside, mixing it with the orange goo.

Step 5: Remove oat and cheese mixture from the fire. Pour over the open face of the potato, creating an even top layer of oat cheese. Place potato in or above the can and place in fire to bake.

Step 6: Once cheese is nice and bubbly on top, remove canned potato and drizzle some Taco Bell mild sauce over the open face of the potato. Let cool and devour!

Main Course (Casen)

Basket Contents:

5 packs of ramen (no flavoring)

1 bottle of green energy drink

1 head of cabbage

1 large can of water chestnuts

1 pomegranate

1 bottle of soy sauce


(Casen): Sweet Ramen

Step 1: Mix half of your Green energy drink with half of your soy sauce in the energy drink bottle. Shake it up until combined. Set the the other half of the soy sauce and Energy drink aside in the soy sauce bottle.

Step 2: Break up your cabbage and stuff it into the energy drink bottle and let it soak. This sugary/salty mixture is perfect to remove any impurities and basically turn your cabbage into a sweet coleslaw-like consistency.

Step 3: Boil your (glass only) soy sauce bottle. Separate the resulting salt/sugar, and evaporated water.

Step 4: Remove your cabbage and place it somewhere near-ish the fire to dry. You can now move the water you collected into the energy drink bottle.

Step 5: Use your water and begin boiling your ramen in the soy sauce bottle. (One pack at a time) – If the bottle doesn’t suffice, you may have to use the can from the water chestnuts.

Step 6: Shuck your pomegranate until all the seeds are out, and then clear out the pomegranate skin and put the seeds in the skin.

Step 7: Open your can of water chestnuts and peel all of them. Then cut them up into small diced squares.

Step 8: Mash your pomegranate seeds into a paste. (Add water/salt if needed for taste)

Step 9: When your ramen is done, combine your ingredients! Remember, presentation is key. Line the cabbage along the side of your ramen, drizzle your pomegranate paste over the top, and sprinkle on the water chestnuts to give each bite a crunch.

What should result is a salty but sweet delicious campfire ramen meal!

Side Dish (Carrot)

Basket Contents:

1 can of crescent rolls

1 can of spaghetti o’s

1 bag of cheetos

1 avocado

1 can of crushed pineapple

1 packet of red pepper flakes

(Carrot): Fire Roasted Pizza Cups.

Be cautious opening all cans and packages with the knife.

Step 1: Open all contents.

Step 2: Remove pineapple from the can and set aside.

Step 3: Line the bottom of the empty pineapple can with a couple crescent rolls making a base into the shape of a cup and put the can in the coals of the fire to bake the rolls. (20 min)

Step 4: While the pineapple can is in the fire put the can of spaghetti o’s in the fire to heat it up. (12 min)

Step 5: While the cans are in the fire crush all the cheetos, and slice the avocado into thin slices.

Step 6: Remove the cans from the fire, and take the baked crescent roll “cup” from the can of pineapples.

Step 7: Add a bit of spaghetti o’s to the base of the crescent roll “cup”, then cover with crushed cheetos, top with a few slices of avocado, a dollop of pineapple, and some red pepper flakes.

Step 8: If this actually works and tastes good, repeat with the rest of the rolls and enjoy!

Dessert (Gaia)

Basket Contents:

Fresh raspberries

6 twinkies

1 can of sweetened condensed milk

1 ear of corn

1 jar of strawberry jelly

1 box of CTC/Cinnamon Toast Crunch

(Gaia): Drooling Twinkies

First off I want to thank Carrot from the bottom of my heart….I love desserts, and when I say love, I mean LOVE DESSERTS.  To not have to come up with a recipe filled with spaghetti o’s or taco bell sauce or green energy drink is a dream…even if I am stuck with an ear of corn.

Step 1: Start a fire

Step 2: Open box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch to use as a cutting board.

Step 3: Stab ear of corn with knife to cook on fire

Step 4: When the corn starts to turn golden, remove from fire.

Step 5: Scrape kernels from cob.

Step 6: Smash kernels using bottom of knife until a creamy texture is achieved

Step 6: Cut twinkies in half (long ways) using CTC box as “board”

Step 7: Remove cream from the opened twinkies

Step 8: Mix the twinkie cream with the crushed corn

Step 8: Spread the new corn cream onto the bottom half of the cut Twinkie

Step 9: Put a layer of strawberry jelly over the cream and then put the two halves of twinkie back together.

Step 10: Smash CTC until you achieve small pieces

Step 11: Open condensed milk and soak twinkies in can until completely covered.

Step 12: Roll twinkie with condensed milk over CTC mixture.

Step 13: Garnish with fresh raspberries

Step 13: ENJOY *drooling indeed*

YUM?

There it is, a dirtbag dinner fit for a monarch! Do any of these culinary creations sound appealing to you? If you have any recommendations for simple campfire cooking PLEASE let us know, it’s always nice to mix up the menu!

Happy Camping,

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theDIHEDRAL

 

8 Replies to “CHOPPED STYLE”

  1. Haha love this! Very entertaining read. Talk about dirtbag meals… I’m a huge dessert addict myself, but I’m not sure even I would try that recipe. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Very impressive…but I think High Clip used the mac and cheese box, when all that was provided was the cheese packet from the mac and cheese. I call foul. I was kinda hoping the dessert recipe would call for throwing away the Twinkies, but it went one better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks William, still haven’t had the opportunity to test these out, but there must be a gem in there somewhere.

      Like

  3. Reblogged this on Das Potpourri and commented:
    As I probably already stated elsewhere, I love cooking. And I am currently getting into outdoor-cooking (I need a dutch oven very urgently…). These recepies are quite a challange and fit my taste very well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marius, I believe a dutch oven might have to be the next camping gear purchase, it beats cooking out of empty cans!

      Like

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