ECO-ATTRACTION

If you follow theDIHEDRAL pretty regularly, I’m sure you’ve heard that it’s the time of year they get the Plastic Cap Challenge going. If you don’t follow theDIHEDRAL regularly, then first of all WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, and second of all, DO THE PLASTIC CAP CHALLENGE. 

Now I’ve been trying to do my part in using less plastic, and while it does take a conscious effort on my part, I began to wonder why more people don’t take up the cause and, you know, at least try to use a disposable water bottle.

My thought is that being environmentally friendly has unfortunately become a political “thing”, and whenever that happens people jump to take sides and will stick to it no matter what. Even if that thing shouldn’t inherently be divisive in the first place. It’s that whole “team mentality”, right?

So, how can I help fix this? How can I, chubbygirlclimbing, save us all? 

*ahem* 

Without further ado, I am going to present you some non-political reasons to get on the green train, ya dig?

1. Reusing is really sexy

I mean. Picture this. A man at the gym. He brings a plastic bottle. 

“Ew,” you think. “What a dumb turd.”

BUT WAIT. He refills it. Could it be? Yes! He refills it yet AGAIN. Oh, MY, HEAVENS TO BETSY, WE GOT A REUSING HOTTIE ON BOARD. BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES, LADIES, IT’S GONNA BE A BUMPY NIGHT (or whatever Bette Davis says in that movie)

Yes, we all use waste occasionally (well, a lot), but making the choice to use that plastic for as long as it can go is…well…sexy.

2. Not leaving trash (or better yet, picking up trash) at the crag will blow that girls mind better than any Mick Jagger moves you got

I know you may not want to pick up after someone else’s mess. You didn’t put it there so why should you bother, right? Well, let me tell you, if I saw my man at a crag, or a beach, or a campsite picking up some old Shiner cans that weren’t even his…

3. Using materials that create less waste will send your partner into a tizzy so wrong it will make Cardi B blush

Just try and use a bamboo toothbrush without your man or lady friend jumping you before you can even get the recommended two minutes of brushing in, amirite?

4. Finding other ways of transport that expel less gas will create a psychological phenomenon in your lover’s mind where they will simultaneously see all past, present, and future copulations with you, thus sending them into a cerebral vortex so great they may never truly be the same…but it’s like…so hot.

Just ride a bike, you’ll see what I mean.

So, there you have it. You don’t have to be politically minded to join the challenge. You don’t really even have to care about the Earth at all to be eco-friendly. You just have to think with your junk. You’re welcome for connecting us all. I am happy to help.