Your Alcoholic Drinks…But as People you See at the Gym


Cognac are all those old people at the gym. It’s a sipping drink, so they are slow, but steady. Getting it done, but at their own pace. Really, they’ll probably outlive your fast ass.

Why can’t I keep up with this 1,000 year old man?

Jell-O Shots

Jell-O shots are the gym rats that just want to be seen. Fake and cute. Their workouts are for TikTok only.

This is probably me, if I’m being honest.


You can cut Vodka with all mixers, so of course Vodka is that gym-ster who does everything and anything at the gym. There’s nary a place you can look that you won’t see that dude. Spin class, the pool, on any machine you currently want to be on…that’s where Vodka will be.

Where’s that energy coming from?


Tequila is unnecessarily aggressive. Always throwing those weights down and screaming. You don’t need to go that hard, Tequila. Calm down.

omg tequila plz stahp

Hard Seltzer

Hard Seltzer comes to the gym but doesn’t really do anything. You’ll often see Hard Seltzer taking up a machine while sitting on their phone. They will, however, still feel like they accomplished something. Despite its name, Hard Seltzer is a weak bitch.

Ok, jw, take your time……….

Which one are you?

Jen Alger @chubbygirlclimbing

20 Replies to “Your Alcoholic Drinks…But as People you See at the Gym”

  1. I am something called a cement mixer – it’s Bailey’s and lime juice. It’s a shot that, when you shake it in your mouth, immediately curdles.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. if that is true then I want vodka hahaha well to be honest its actually how you balance your lifestyle. go in the gym and have some pilates workout and grab some alcoholic drinks as well as our body need it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love your drawings and descriptions. Tequila used to be my drink of choice when I drank but I was never like that in the gym….I was more like Vodka although I don’t like Vodka.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My drink when i’m using the gym is Guinness, and ive been told it a healthy drink too

    Liked by 1 person

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