I think a climbing themed Saturday morning cartoon could work. There have been some animated climbing shows before. Iwa-Kakeru! -Sport Climbing Girls comes to mind. Although I was excited to see rock-climbing cross over into the world of sports Anime, this one just didn’t do it for me. There have also been some rock-climbing reality shows, such as Chris Sharma’s The Climb which was fine, but again, not exactly my cup of tea. What I’m looking for is a show that focuses on both the climbing and the characters in ways that don’t feel overly contrived.
The problem with the shows mentioned above is that they both focus on the competition aspect of climbing rather than the community, the personalities, and the people who climb. I’ve said it before and I’m sure that I’ll say it again, for most of us, climbing is about the people you meet along the way.
With that, I am going to lay out a handful of characters that would make for a fun 70’s style cartoon, complete with hijinks and shenanigans. These characters are inspired by some of the folks I’ve been lucky enough to climb with over the years (including myself).
Carrot – A literal carrot that is even keeled, doesn’t really get too high or too low. Carrot enjoys encouraging his friends to send just as much as sending himself.
Johnny Two Bags – John brings the style, complementing his bald head with a headband coordinated to match his clothes. John has the mouth of a sailor and a heart of gold. Always there to welcome new climbers into the fold, John is recognizable as one of the few climbers on earth to wear two chalk bags at once.
Coach Max – You won’t always find Max on the wall, but he’ll always be there to help others get up the wall. He is the dedicated coach who wants nothing more than for the people he surrounds himself with to have fun. With his classic buzzcut and permanent smile, Max is more than a coach, he’s also a cheerleader!
Cici (The Tiny Dancer) – Big things come in small packages, as our classically trained dancer, Cici climbs with a fluid style that would make Anna Pavlova proud! She is but small, but she is mighty!
El Jefe (Jeff) – Every group of climbers on the planet needs a trad dad, and El Jefe is the climbing encyclopedia of the bunch. If there is beta to break or gear to buy, El Jefe is on top of it. When in doubt ask Jeff and the solution will be in view!
Jim and Linda – Could there be a group without a couple? The cutest climbers in the land, they can be seen trading belays and romance all over the crag. When these two are around, love is in the air!
Robert the Gorilla – With muscles to spare, Robert attacks routes like wombat going after an elephant, but not only is he sending the gnar, our gorilla man won’t be happy until everyone around is laughing, with a catchphrase for every occasion Robert brings a lightheartedness to even the hardest routes on the wall.
The Plumber (Chris) – The plumber will only ever climb in a sports jersey and is never too far from his trusty toolbox. He is a true master both on and off the wall. His climbing is inspirational, and his sense of humor is legendary!
High-Clip – High-Clip has never actually seen a morning since her climbing takes place in the afternoon, but once she puts her hair into the power braids, you know she is about to send the proj. So, while she may not be with us in person, she is always there in spirit.
Vertical Vince – At nearly 250 years old, Vince is the elder sage of the morning crew. Trained by the ancient monks of Meteora, Vinny seemingly levitates simply by crossing his arms and bowing his head.
Marshall – Sometimes he climbs, but Marshall is primarily there for the dancing! Sometimes he’s shaking it to Fergie and other times he’s vibing to the smooth sounds of yacht rock legend Michael McDonald, but no matter what the atmosphere, Marshall is always there with the perfect soundtrack to fit the mood.
Finn – No climbing group would be complete without a crag dog, and my guy Finn, the brown and white border collie mix is bringing nothing but snuggles and happiness to each and every day!
That’s the crew! Imagine them as a bunch of kids (except for Vince) and watch the excitement unfold. Whether it’s a dance-off for crag rights, or a mystery solving Halloween episode, this show would cook! Must see TV!1
Somebody get this show a distribution deal!
1. I posted this article to ChatGPT and asked it to create a photo using the just the character descriptions, and I think it actually nailed it! The cover photo is a little cut off, so check out the complete photo below.
thedihedral.com 